Where are you?

[Anemone]

For the past two weeks, I’ve asked my spouse his whereabouts through text if I didn’t see him around the house.  “Where are you?” I would nudge him. I didn’t receive the best response when I asked him that question, and I grumbled and complained in my heart. 
 
However, I realized that I didn’t like that question too.  It is because God has been asking me that question to me.  “Where are you?”  DK taught me to answer I am with Jesus, but I could not confidently answer the question with “I am with JESUS!”  My answer in my heart was, “I don’t know.”
 
When God asked Adam and Eve, “Where are you?” it wasn’t because he didn’t know where they were, but because he was pressing into their hearts.  Where is your heart, where is your mind, and where is your life?  Like my spouse and I, Adam and Eve didn’t like that question and hid from Him. 
 
I didn’t like that question because my answer wasn’t confident.  I felt ashamed and embarrassed; Though I was delivered and born again, I struggled to answer the question.
 
It isn’t a profound question; it is a simple one, but to answer it seemed like I was climbing a mountain.  I cried before the Lord that I said, “I don’t know where I am, but Jesus here I am.”  Just as Samuel responded to God when he heard God’s voice, “Here I am.”  I muttered, “Here I am.”  I was so sorry I couldn’t respond with “I am with Jesus!” I repented, and that’s the only word I could reveal to Him.
 
Then, the next day, as I was working, I heard the Holy Spirit lead me to a place where I found such deep comfort.  He said, “You are with me because I chose you.  I know where you are because I am with you. You do not know where you are because you didn’t choose me first.  I chose you first.” 
 
It is written in 1 John 4:19 - “We love because he first loved us” and Ephesians 1:4 “even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.”  I can only choose to be with Jesus because He first chose me.  And, with that, I am utterly broken and humbled by His grace and choice.
 
Now, when asked, “Where are you?”  I can confidently respond with I am with Jesus because Jesus chose me first.  I will not run away or be ashamed by the question – but come forward, as broken and imperfect as I am, and say, “You chose me, so I must be with you.”
 
I do not respond with “I am with JESUS!”
 
I respond with “I am with JESUS, because my Savior chose me!  It is not with my own works that I am with Him.  I am with Him because of his grace.”
 
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for the grace and revelation.
 
Amen and amen.

[You are my angel Dasom]

Here I am
Here I am
Here I am
With you
With you
With you
Here I am with you together for far longer than forever

One day when our Father and father get dementia, they will ask you
Where am I?
Where am I?
Where am I?
You will answer them

Here you are
Here you are
Here you are
With me
With me
With me
Here you are with me together for far longer than forever