Hello my Kyunnie. . .
Yes, I smiled, lol.
I love you. . .
How are you? How is your day going? Have you eaten? Do you have water and snacks with you while you are working?
Thank you for checking in, even when you are working. I don't think you know how much it means to me to have that quick thing. Especially when I know how busy your schedule is. It truly makes me feel important. Thank you my Kyunnie.
It was a very long day. Today was day 8. And this week has been some very long hours. I'm thankful for that because of the overtime. I was starting to second guess my trip because of me having to miss work. I will get the one week of vacation. However I had decided to take a few extra days off. Last week the anxiety caught up to me. I realized that after the one week I was still missing an entire week of work. That's a big chunk of hours for me. I have a budget and with that extra week. . . yeah, I started second guessing saying yes was the right thing. I will be very honest here. I worry about money a lot. I have enough. I pay my bills, and spend some on me. But that's about it. I have health insurance because it comes out of my check. Same with my 401k, life insurance, and a couple of other things. It is hard to imagine not having to worry about it. Worrying about being sick but still needing to work because bills and life. I'm not sure if I even know how to not work, lol. I'm a little afraid of going on the trip and not wanting to go back to work. Seriously. I like my job, I'm good at what I do. But I would be completely ok with working way less hours. I feel like I need to help contribute to a relationship financially somehow. I know for me, being raised by a single mom with 5 children, who didn't make a lot of money there wasn't a lot to go around. So there wasn't an allowance. We had 2nd hand clothes. I remember one year for Christmas I wanted new clothes, so that was what I asked for. But I got upset when I didn't get any toys, lol. I was like 7 or 8 probably. So now as an adult I spend my money more freely. Probably more freely than I should. I'm not great with money. My rent and my bills get paid. idk Kyunnie. . . I feel like in this area I don't have a lot to offer someone. Is it wrong for me to want to be taken care of though? I was the one who worked in my last relationship. Because of his immigration status my ex couldn't work. So it was entirely up to me. I started working at 15 years old. So I guess I've been working for about 25 years now.
That was probably tmi and confusing.
I'll blame it on me being tired and needing to go to sleep. I'm off the next couple of days. I need to wash clothes and start packing for the trip. I want to do some spring cleaning too and go through clothes and stuff to get rid of. Something cool about this apartment building is you can put stuff in the lobby and other people can go through it and pick out what they want.
I'm going to go for now.
Until another time. . .
I love you Kyunnie.