24-03 Big Beautiful Meditation(크고 아름다운 명상)

[khemacara]

As you all know, because I just give so many talks, you want to go away, there's many talks which I deliver and I'm sure Ajahn Brahmali's giving lots of talks these days also has the same idea that sometimes what's the next talk going to be. I remember just as usual asking some of the monks at tea time, what should I talk about, but then I got this really lovely phone call from someone over in Europe and they only had a few minutes to discuss why they were calling me from such a long way.

And it was because that years and years ago they just dropped into a very deep meditation and then got a clue what it was and they wanted to know saying thank you first of all because it was some of the books which you know spread over the world about Jhanas and also some of the teachings online which was very helpful for her. And it was just that sometimes we feel oh you just how come that some people tend to get or drop into these Jhanas sometimes so easily and just other people have to struggle for years and years and years.

And it was one of the reasons why I'd like to talk so much about these deep meditations. It seems to be for me that those deep meditations are the sorts of things which are really important in many many people's lives and the reason is that even the Buddha himself, there was a Bodhisattva Bodhisattva, it was under the Roseapple tree just dropping into a first dana. Of course he hadn't got a clue what it meant at the time only it was just really enjoyable and powerful and really different.

And obviously he got that from his previous life. You know he was a monk under the Buddha Kasapa but nevertheless as many other people it does seem just they come up you hear about them and I did mention that lady in Pinnang many years ago who came to see me she wasn't a Buddhist at the time apparently she is now I was talking to Chow Po about it she is a Buddhist and she practices. By the time that she just dropped into one of these deep meditations and she hadn't got a clue what

it meant and so she was really concerned that it was some psychotic episode and because of that she went to many psychologists and psychiatrists and no one could really understand what she'd experienced. I do remember that time it was in the back of one of the library in Mahindurama Temple where I used to do our retreats when I went to Pinnang. I don't do them there anymore because they've got a proper retreat center and in that library she was telling me just what she'd experienced.

I had no idea why she was so concerned about this but nevertheless she started to say how so many things vanished disappeared and she was really pissed out she didn't have a clue why when she came out no one could understand her or could give it any significance or tell her how it all fit into this thing we call life and because of that she went to see so many people and I remember that occasion when I was just listening to her I didn't interrupt her but as I was listening to her I just thought wow she's just describing a real genre and then I added a few more details

once she finished I said you also experienced this and this I remember her eyes went wide yes yes and last someone understands what I went through and they said you have nothing to be afraid of at all that was brilliant that was beautiful you probably won't be able to get it back again maybe I'm not sure I never met her but apparently she is around around meditating still but all the beautiful things which she said because I understood what she had said she trusted me and she realized she didn't need to see psychologists or psychiatrists

anymore or doctors there's nothing wrong with her it's just this ordinary beautiful experience of deep meditation and the reason I'm giving that talk I know whenever you start talking about these deep meditation something well I haven't got that yet this is really unfair these people over in pin hang they just go there and just meditate and they're just getting it straight away I've worked so hard keeping precepts sacrificing so much giving up so much they really unfair please never look at it that way instead look at it the case

that no for people like that you know they don't seem to have much going for them they don't seem to just they suddenly don't make effort to get into these things that's an important thing to remember not through efforts they get very very peaceful they have they are kind of I like cutting it pressing the letting go button and for her I mean she was this lady from Europe who rang up this evening she was saying she had terrified her at first she was doing some meditation with the repastna go in good tradition but nevertheless they didn't understand what the heck was going on with her and they thought it was some kind of psychosis or some kind of madness and that really really terrified her and it was only

just seeing some of this carried on meditating eventually but when she started reading some of the books which I'd written and other people like myself and talk about John is then at last there's an ah yes I'm not mad I'm not crazy so that's one of the reasons I talk so much about this because sometimes it does happen to people when it does happen to people if they have no understanding about what meditation is and their Buddhism is even not sort of tied to the sutas or the Vinaya what the Buddha actually taught

but they take a little bit from here and a little bit from there sometimes these experiences can be very freaky and you know if you don't have anybody to talk to or to relate to what it really means and what happened and why then of course you do get a bit freaked out but the main reason I wanted to mention this today as a subject for a talk is that how close these genres are to everybody if I was weird I jumped on say it's how close yeah it's very close it shows it's close

because those people they hadn't been doing that much meditation they hadn't been keeping those many precepts they hadn't been striving that hard in spiritual paths but nevertheless they could know for one of a better word to press the letting go button and all this things started to happen and how does it really happen and why can it happen quickly and instead of just freaking you out for stay a long time so you don't

interfere with this process of things disappearing with fear and I think that's one of the reasons why the idea of renouncing giving up not so indulging in things not complicating your spiritual life

you know with doing things seeing things reading too much you know going on the internet too much if we can limit that as best we possibly can without sort of being too strict on ourselves because strictness is just too tight to realize the more we renounce the more we don't need to oppose renunciation the more we let go of the more we have this is one of the reasons why we munch the nuns and no one force you to become a monk or a nun what happens is you see this

something inspiring in this something really meaningful and so when you do that it's great to be able to do it properly especially possibly can so that means that we really let go a lot and then more we can let go the less we have to do the less we have to worry about remember those five hindrances you get out the the the way of wanting things what do you want things for if it's useful if it makes you healthy fine that's why you know I don't mind getting air conditioners for you know some of you monks you're getting old now I lived in this place and it was much hotter than

this but still like telling people it gives me some authority and say yes I know how it feels when it was 46 degrees here on that day we had the big ground fire here I remember just at nighttime you could hardly sleep it was I think about I think it was maybe 40 in the middle of the night as well you just never cool down so in the morning it was really hot and just kept on getting hotter until 46 46 points something as far as I know still there was another day a couple of weeks later was a little bit hotter so it still stands as the second hottest day ever in western

australia or in this part of western australia so anyhow and in those days you know we didn't have any fans or air conditioning I think I was staying in the number one hut at the time and I think it's just been built there's a second monk side at that time you have to do a lot of work to be able to stay in that hut the reason was you know it was so close to the the main hall you could see people coming and going and look after things we ever remember just during the range retreat while I was staying there had a really big rainstorm and the tanks were also nearly empty so I stayed up all night just making sure that all the water which was coming down the gutters into the tanks

was all being pumped up and of course you know the the rain came so hard and so long but I had to stay up all night and I filled a whole tank up just one night which is the enormous amount of water but anyway that was you know it was hot during the summertime there so I remember that just there's plenty we didn't have many visitors then so you could be sort of naked from the chest up and I remember writing to one of the monks is how hot it was when we saw the fire coming towards us a plume of smoke

but nevertheless you know you you learn to understand just the heat you survive it it's unpleasant but it passes and that's one of the things which I always remember there's so much unpleasantness having a human body but it passes and that's another thing which I've always remembered throughout my whole life is a monk the happiness is just a space between two moments of suffering and suffering is a space between two moments of happiness so you can't have one without the other so whenever it's really uncomfortable I know that after it gets really

uncomfortable to get very comfortable after it gets very comfortable to get uncomfortable again so I know it won't last forever and that's a very important reflection which I have whenever you're in pain or you can't sleep at night eventually you'll fall asleep somewhere and that's just the nature of the body basically the body is out of control it's not mine it's not me it's not a self if I love to tell you what to do but it doesn't behave it doesn't follow what I ask it to do even that sometimes when I try to get up there it's very old now it's just teaching me again again

look you can't tell me what to do it says my body it just doesn't get up in the right way which it used to but nevertheless you still understand you can do a little bit to help this body but in the end it's not yours not me not mine you can renounce it and all this other stuff which we have you know to try and be comfortable sometimes I also reflect it that it's hot so does everybody have to experience this and so of course they do those people who have air cons and aircon in the car

and they work in an air con office we always go through eating restaurants which are all air conned even here we've got beautiful air cons in this hall but for some it's too cold and some it's always too hot I've just been told by some pop on the weekend over in Thailand you just come back from Thailand it's the cold season over there isn't it's November so December and January that's the heart of the cold season and it was like the weather was just like here 35 or 36 or something and it's ridiculous but nevertheless because it said it was the cold season they're still wearing jumpers

that's what he said and I don't doubt that as I just the way that we mess up with what's happening with our beliefs and the way we interpret it the way we think about it the way we perceive it so that's why that's something which you always can do with the perceptions so that we can see it's hot but that means it's going to cool down soon and that means that I don't know it's very hot so that means that when I was as a benefit of getting hot that means we know we don't have to

we get more and electricity on the new solar systems we've got now so we don't have to pay so much for electricity there's always some things you can think about which makes it nice and okay I'm going to make a confession now sometimes when it's very hot I sort of think well there's one advantage and it's worked every time the last few days because it's very hot after the meal I'm just sitting up they're waiting to receive the guests but not many guests come up it's too hot up in the horn if you went and installed an air conditioner up in the meditation

not the meditation but in the dana saala the people will be up there till 1 p.m. 1 30 p.m. 2 p.m. I never get any rest so because it's hot at least I know I can get back to my cave really quickly and it has been like that it's not been very late at all after the meals when it's been a hot day I think to most supposed to be cool I think is that the case oh my goodness can be a lot of people waiting up there after lunch to talk about whatever but anyhow so I always try to see some positive in something

when you see the positive in it you don't feel so bad and doesn't really get you so negative the more negative you get about the heat the more hot it gets when you can laugh at these things it's much much more fun so it doesn't last that long as soon it's cool again and then when it's very hot like the last few days I always remember I think about the middle of winter when it's really cold and that actually just thinks oh I'm appreciating the heat this is not cold and when it's very very cold I think of the heat

so that way you realize that these they do change but it's also the fact that when we have that kind of wisdom we don't have to worry so much you know one of the things which I used to do as a young monk when it was really really really really hot I remember at Ajahn Ben's monastery I went to stay there for a little while and they were asleep the mountain top so much was very little grass it's just exposed rock and the kutti was basically on top of that rock so the whole rock

just absorbed the sun during the hot season and it emitted that heat at night time it was almost more warm at night time than it was during the daytime and so you can hardly sleep at night it was so hot but nevertheless I thought wow I'll get some more meditation in because it wasted time trying to sleep and I also remember that just this is how Ajahn Chah taught me you know your body doesn't matter how it feels renounce it renounce it it's just a body it doesn't belong to me

there's nothing I can do with it except let it go and there's a few times in life you actually do that sometimes when the body is really uncomfortable it makes it more of a imperative more you must let it go because you can't stand it otherwise and I think I've told you many of those stories about with all those mosquitoes on you when I was

a young monk and Ajahn Chah chose to come to body to walk by America

what that's what it was called at first now walk by Nana Chah no buildings there we were all just sleeping out I find her on mosquito nets and Josie decided to it was a cremation ground before because Ajahn Chah decided to come and meditate you know in the evening seven till nine or something and it was that's when all the mosquitoes

came out they were they really covered your arms and your head and it was really intolerable and you'd open your eyes and you'd see Ajahn Chah sitting there really peaceful

if he hadn't been there most of us would have got up and run but because Ajahn Chah was there you couldn't do that so instead what can I do just to really let go you had to let go that was the only option for you so instead of worrying about the mosquitoes I sort of used them as a an encouragement almost like a teacher telling me come on just let go just don't keep your attention on the irritating mosquito bites just go instead to your your breathing go to your mind let go relax to the max

I didn't know those words then relax to the max but you could let go and you go into the habit of that because Ajahn Chah will come every night until the next party moker and so you'd have to meditate properly and the other thing I I learned from that which is no for you if you're going to be meditating and you feel just not as it's really hot or you're if it's sick you haven't got your usual energy always remember the first 10 minutes are probably the most important make sure your mind lets go of any negativity no it's possible it can be done

maybe you haven't done it yet but it can be done even lay people who aren't even Buddhists they could sort of press that letting go button and go into the nimata land and bliss land and get some credible experiences they could let go so sometimes you feel yourself you're sitting there I feel tired it's too hot there's too many fries bouncing around so what do you do you say well it's possible to let go and everything is impossible and it's not done through efforts it's done through wisdom it's kind of courage let's try then and go buddy

trying to get you cool trying to get you safe from all these fries and moses trying to get you sort of energized don't know how to do that so I'm going to let you go not bother with you and just watch your breathing breathing in breathing it should be pretty simple to do with a lot of kindness and gentleness that's some which I never actually knew at the time exactly what I was doing but that gentleness and kindness was really there that's important part of the meditation

when you have the kindness to your breathing and gentleness with it it stays with you and because you're watching your breathing you don't feel the heat because you don't feel the heat because you're just watching this breath it soon becomes delightful just get to that stage of the delightful breath the pity suka starts to come up my goodness

it's easy to stay there you wander off anywhere you go back to the mosquitoesf onto the heat or the tiredness of your body

the aches of the illness you go back there and it just it's terrible you don't want to do that again you just go back to your breathing and stay there and when you do stuff like that just the breathing starts to dominate you get used to that and you remember

that I had to do this in the first five or ten minutes and even that time when it's on the two dogs I was obviously much more skilled at the meditation then but I still remember just going to this one monastery and this monastery

I got there about 530 I think we're traveling all day in this hot buses yeah they put me in the front and but the seats were just packed they were chickens and pigs I don't know what else it was just the local bus went really slowly stopping at every stop and animals were out in as well and the seats were really really tiny so anyway after traveling in that for you know all day just you know you were just really sore sweaty and tired I got to this monastery reason I went there in the north of Thailand

it was in Medang just was on the road it wasn't the the one the Kuha Pasuk which I tell everybody about it was on the road and that's just a little ways in and then they said that they have the the tradition every evening they meditate from six till ten four hours not allowed to move when they said oh my goodness can I have a night off I just been traveling all day no that's a tradition if you're here you have to meditate so I just wiped my sweat off my body I think I did have some Chinese tea

I think they gave me some of that but that wasn't very very much and so then he got into the hall and there was only two or three months there and then he sat down rang the bell and then close your eyes and I thought this is going to hurt four hours meditating straight and less and make sure this first ten minutes you really don't mess around you focus but you don't focus that hard otherwise you tense up you focus and also add this beautiful kindness as well and a gentleness and I could do that and it was brilliant and yeah I couldn't have been in jahner at the end because I remember hearing the bell and when they heard rang the bell I opened my eyes for the first time and then I looked at the clock and there was only quarter to two ten and I complained

there's another quarter of an hour to go they said no we've had enough so they robbed me of quarter of an hour I didn't mind that you know to be able to do that sort of stuff I don't know I was thinking of south Australia a day or two ago I don't know why but there used to be a monk over there it's a forest monk he was really eccentric but he was a very nice monk I liked him very much and he used to smoke a pipe I think the tobacco in it very tough monk but he also he had this young man

who was his upa tak all the time and this young monk loved this old monk and he was an Australian guy local guy this young monk and he would do anything for this old monk but anyway I would use to go out there to give talks and teach retreats and stuff and usually get back to his temple about sort of maybe nine o'clock or ten o'clock and that's when he started his to our meditation from ten to twelve every evening and he told me you

can just go and have a rest if you like I said no I want to join in because you know after talking all day and he goes there and just it's nice he came to a nice meditation there every evening so it's a crazy thing to do I didn't have to do it I wasn't doing it for pride just because I enjoyed it when you start to enjoy your meditation like that it just changed your monastic life you have a great time yeah you do jobs and chores and emails now and arranging stuff but nevertheless

you still have quite a lot of time free time to meditate if you make that time and value the time and don't waste the time and if you do stuff like that you're just increasing the chances that one day and look the first time you get into a deep meditation it's always when you least expect it I don't know why but you know the first time you're sitting there wow it is shock sure maybe it's because it's shock sure surprise issue

it's kind of interesting at first so that keeps the attention on what's happening you never seen anything like this before as I wish you're not people who get scared easy and because a lot of the people who taught him about this they do get really scared there I've got a clue what's going on and that fear can sometimes destroy the beauty and joy of those wonderful states of meditation but for others even though they're scared stiff it still pulls them in and they get into

these incredible states of mind and they can interpret it in so many different ways you know because their perceptions are just I can understand this they're struggling to know figure out what this is and so some of those weird perceptions they actually create those weird perceptions but if you know what they're trying to perceive and the weird way they describe it you can sort of get in understand know that this is what they're really experiencing and the way the perception can just describe it in just not perfect ways

but good enough you understand okay yeah that's what you were doing and so when they have these experiences sometimes it inspires me that you know these experiences are real and they're available and it's not like no one can experience this anymore it doesn't mean you have to be a forest monk sitting in a cave in a jungle in Thailand for 30 40 years that many people can just kind of slip into this and how do they do that again it's just that we now sing letting go of everything you do that as a practice simplifying your heart simplifying your life

and then what happens afterwards is because your life has been simplified you're sitting down there and you kind of in the habit of seeing things vanish and disappear things just not there anymore and it feels a great sense of freedom like in the forest in forest in Thailand there's you know the trees and the bushes are so much more close together it's very congested in real rain forests we've got a type of forest over here but apparently even in the old days you can walk through it or people would ride their horses through it

and the trees and the bushes weren't that close together but over in the forest I've seen over in Thailand and other rain forests it's very congested very close together but nevertheless always have some of the open areas and in those open areas you can actually feel the wind and I love feeling the wind just even just sitting out on the veranda this evening at tea time just every now and again just feel the wind and the evening breeze just blowing softly past you I love those experiences it calls you down

but it's also I'm just maybe shouldn't say this is very sensuous but not in the sort of

stimulating way it kind of calms you down non-stimulating pleasure in other words it allows you to let go some more there's been this moment and as those experiences happen more and more and more you go back to your room or to your cave wherever you live you can sit there it's a bit warm in the matter it's good enough you don't worry too much about it you sit there and just see what happens

you don't expect you don't try and get something you don't try and expect things to happen and get disappointed afterwards you just let go and relax to the max in this moment and letting go becomes important to you you don't aim for anything you don't want anything you don't own anything it's not personal attainment it's not something you can get a certificate for and now you're past the exam and so you don't have to struggle anymore it's not like that this is just a beauty and the joy of monastic life I always say that's why we're here you know mong konana and agaraka novice visitor

wherever you are the beautiful freedom which you experience really out of this world freedom really plays sound it's possible it still happens and it's there for you that's why you know it's good we do all this work but please don't overdo it I shouldn't really say that because I don't do much physical work anymore but I did when I was young I did the afternoons and evenings and even just when I would I was actually Ajahn Kemenanda said that

that had so many pieces of paper next to my seat when I was young he said that's his office Ajahn Brahm's office was next to his seat in the dhanasala but I didn't mind doing that giving out without seeing what I want without taking my own personal wants that's no that's letting go and renouncing all the judging of others to this day I'm really grateful to know all of you just how much hard work you all do each in your own way don't expect every one of you to be a superstar

just crushing your legs and meditating 24 hours and not sleeping or being just like some up someone like an Ajahn Lee and I couldn't believe just how hard he would work they would be up all night and these all night sits they would be there meditating all night in the morning to be up and just on a ladder just building the the monastery hall you know I was really concerned about him because when you're tired right they haven't stepped all night your mindfulness can't be that strong

and if you make make a mistake and fall off the ladder or something but you know he was amazing just know how he could keep on going on you know he's one of the favorite monks over in what bop on and anyhow it was lovely to actually to see just what could be done what's possible it went beyond my expectations on what I thought was possible and that's one of the other things I love about Buddhism doesn't matter how much I've known in my almost 50 years as a monk what I've seen

what I've experienced and seen others and chatting with others there's so much I get so much interest enjoy in tales of impossibility which actually happened or was she real it kind of always expands my understanding of what can happen and to see that like her that was actually I don't actually how old she is the lady who rang this afternoon well you know just describing a few things of her experience I told her first of all I've only got 10 minutes because I've got to get ready for the talk so I wish I could more time

because I actually enjoyed this into that sort of stuff and listening it can work and if it can work for them it will work for you just a matter of time sooner or later has to and I say that you know from being a senior monk knowing what I'm talking about it has to happen there's one day just sitting there letting go wam bam he's just in mind fills with bliss where the hell did that come from please excuse me for the thing the word help where did that come from but you don't actually say that because you're hopefully you've been well enough brainwashed by me never to actually interfere with this

and let it happen and join to the max and see what comes next so when you're just enjoying it to the max it gets more and more blissful more bliss than you've ever had in your whole experience I don't mind saying that because it's supposed to be like that I don't know why people have got this idea that spiritual life or monastic life it's a really dull and boring just endure endure I remember people like that it should have known better and even I was saying this such a bramali this he knows the name of Lance cousins I remember just meeting him as at Cambridge when I was there and he would come to many of the talks

he was part of the Samutta society and when I told him I saw him in the Thai temple in London I said I'm just going over to time to become a monk he said you'll be back he was right I did come back as a monk after seven years but by coming back he thought I would not last a few weeks I remember asking afterwards why he said because you look too happy to be a monk my goodness you're supposed to look happy as a monk and as a nun too as an anagarica as a novice

as anybody staying in a monastery I don't know why people feel that if you're special

ordained you might have brought miserable anyway we've brought against that pretty well so anyhow and it was lovely to see an aagang char somebody was saying that sometimes people criticize monks like me for smarting too much I'm laughing too much and so I just replied in an email that even aagang Liam he's so highly regarded in Thailand I remember Ajahn Chah telling a story a joke

there was this young novice and Ajahn Chah had a loud temporary ordination especially for this young novice because his father was a very powerful major general with this young novice and he wanted to stay and walk up on for a while which is great but he was also very fat and so one evening after and asking a few questions of Ajahn Chah

underneath his hut then he said can I go back and have a rest now and Ajahn Chah said yes please go back but please be careful please don't hit any trees

because you're so big if you hit even the big trees the trees will probably fall over now you're smarting at that but Ajahn Liam for those of you who know him one of the toughest of monks I've ever seen he was rolling literally rolling on the floor holding his belly he was laughing so much I kind of like those ideas you know the real you know the human the fact he's got a body he's got a culture he's got a life which you know will be with you when you sort of ordain and when you practice and that's the heart of the way that your wisdom is expressed the softness the openness and no not sort of carrying you know any controlling features with you all the time and that means that

you know you can let go much more easily as you let go really easily you get inspiration

I love inspiration because inspiration is a type of happiness and you can see it so easily

you open your eyes and see all of you believe it or not you inspire me I know many of you have come from and know how difficult it's been for some of you and that you're here and you've done so well congratulations and does that inspiration I'm truth I'm not making this up to see that you know you're walking on this path you're helping out you're just really serving a lot so well done and that really inspires you you are far more close than you ever expect

and one day you just go on a retreat or something and everything sort of comes together and just you go with it and you know how things to disappear you know if you're afraid and just see to start blister you can possibly get you come out afterwards and then origin bomb that was brilliant a lot of times people don't even need to ask what it was they just come up and just gosh enjoy and that's amazing that's you know you're getting some runs on the borders they say oh I think cricket or whateverthat many of you know that doesn't matter where you start from doesn't matter what happened to

you in life doesn't matter how world you are treated how poor you were treated when you get those sorts of things that's outside of this world all the stuff in the world which takes you over here and over there and does this and does that it doesn't have any much meaning to you anymore those beautiful deep meditations when the five senses just stop controlling you when they vanish and amazing thing is those five senses when they do go wow you really have the highest bliss you've ever had

and I didn't mention this in the last domino which I gave over in the pseudo classes

over in Nalama center to this day is right now okay I'm getting the goose bumps up

just know when the Buddha described what those deep meditations feel like some bodhisukha that's only first jana since they only but even the how you feel in that first jana the happiness of enlightenment you will understand what enlightenment is like get a feeling for it or as a Buddha said a taste of enlightenment the jhanas are not just a path

they're getting a taste of it what it feels like we're there at a couple of times and my goodness is never you want to do anything else in the whole world that's your path except maybe teach others how to do it out of your kindness but nevertheless the bliss and the beauty of it and to see that people are still doing that in without any teachings at all it seems actually going against the teachings of a practicing vipassana maybe that's what you should do if you haven't got no it's like they freaked it fluked it whatever but nevertheless it happens and when it does sadh as sadh as sadh as sadh okay i do happy up to you now please excuse me for indulging please

i enjoy my talks sometimes i think i don't care if anyone else doesn't