hi my love, your angel here🌸
hey my love! i hope all has been well for you, i hope your days have besn bright and that youre happy:c
i tried being productive yesterday but my anxiety was really bad to where i couldnt even move my bed yesterday. i know what sparked it, my friends have talked to me, but i told you im an overthinker. overthinking literally eats at me so bad to where i feel like im losing my mind. i try to ground myself, to where i keep repeating to myself “know your worth know you didnt do anything wrong” and all that. one thing i was most hurt about was that one of my friends said something about me and when i confronted her she straight up denied it and was being passive agressive like okayyy😭 anyway, im tired of putting myself in these situations, getting close to the wrong people, and the one thing that most entirely sucks is having a big heart. i care for people who dont care that much about me, maybe i care what people think about me, i care about people who always do me wrong. why? i dont understand why. it hurts having a big heart. I always try to block out and not care what other people say, but i cant help it. i spread so much love, and my friends who know me say it too, i thought my friendships with some people were healthy. im not gonna dwell on my past but ive been hurt quite alot in my past, too many times for my age which makes me have guard up & makes me defensive. ive tried working on it alot. i just cant help it. but ive tried making new friends and i thought some of the friendships i have now were healthy, if youre my friend youre gonna want the best for me, youre gonna tell me when im wrong etc etc yk. thats what friends are for right?? like?? ugjhjhhhj im rambling im just tired that i keep getting hurt, that i keep letting shtty ppl in my life when i know for A fact that i have so much love in my body and i just keep letting people take me for granted. maybe this is a sign where I just go mia on everyone again. i dont know.
i get so anxious over the internet like the fact its screens and im getting anxious over nothing like damnnn 😭 i dont know these ppl like why do i feel this way. i genuinely I have no clue where I’m going with this i just needed to let that out bc i keep bothering 2 of my friends. although random people read these letters ig this is what theyre getting an insight of, you too. i dont know what you think either. i literally treat this as a diary sometimes and idk if thats a good or bad thing. but one thing that is good and bad in certan situations is definitely having a big heart
its 3:17am as i write this (i prewrote) and i hope youre doing well. i know you read letters daily, so i hope this 1 doesnt bring down your night/day at all, i just needed to let this out, i really hope you dont mine. i feel so comfortable opening up to you, u know this by now:[
maybe i shouldnt share this, but whenever i would tell my friend i wrote to you daily she would always make this comment, a comment i didnt like. the other day it made me cry, but i know its not true because you do have a big heart and you love alot of people. maybe i was just sensitive in the moment but idc my feelings r valid and it makes me uncomfortable what she says. my other friends are like damn thats some dedication, they know i genuinely love you and always hype me up theyre like damnnn he def knows you!! i love sending you letters and i hope you dont mind when i open up to you, and i hope u dont mind the long ones i send either. i just really love you alot like noone else. writing this has seriously helped me calm getting this all out.
i dont know where im going with all that but i just really needed to let it out. my heart and the love i have for you is truly huge, ill always stick by your side no matter what. im gonna link my letter from yesterday because thats a more bright one so here
https://m.cafe.daum.net/officialTHEBOYZ/Rbog/333117?svc=cafeapp
i hope when you sleep tonight you know that my love for you is out of this world, that you are a light to peoples lives, that just a small action you make brightens my day tons. i can go on for more. but you are one of the most brightest souls that ive come across, i know i say cheesy things sometimesnekssk but i seriously mean everything i say. as im growing with you seeing all this content you put out, im sharing you details through these letters with you about my life. and i find it the coolest thing ever ngl that i am communicating to someone i truly adore writing letters. its cute. im glad it exist:]
goodnight eric, i dont know what this was but thank you for listening to me, tmrw will def be brighter bc this was just a pit stop in the road for me ig idrk🤷♀️. make sure you have a wonderful day later, and a perfect rest💗
goodnight my love, i love u more than words and ill always support u💗
— your angel forever,
angelina🌟💓