Shownu!
It's been a while since the last time I wrote you a letter and I feel so bad! (two weeks lol) but I had promised myself to write one every day.
The thing is that I wanted them to be special, but now I just miss you and my life doesn't get interesting at all.
I'm still kinda recovering from depression 'cause I couldn't get VIP tickets to see you in my city, but I'm going to see you anyway so no worries. Still, I'm worried because I haven't cried since then, as if my tears mechanism would had broken. I'm also buried in homework (but here I am spending my time), and I have eye bags bigger than my dreams (need beauty advice for that).
In one of my classes we had like a presentation about thanatology, and they talked about Grief as a natural response to loss, not only to the loss of someone, but the loss of something, and I'm grieving for the loss of my dream of meeting you this year.
Lately I've been listening to Billie Eilish songs a lot, thus the title of the letter. It's from one of her songs called "bellyache". I'm obsessed with the rhythm, with her voice and with the meaning of the song.
Have you ever done something you thought it would make feel better but regretted after?
I try to avoid regret, and I feel like you too. and I think you wouldn't harm anyone for your own sake.
Anyway, I highly recommend that song and that artist in case you haven't already listened to it.
Also listen to The Neighbourhood - Jealou$y, is really cool! I can't get the beat out of my head.
I really hope you're having a lovely day. Once again, today I woke up and watched your pictures from the radio program with Wonho first thing in the morning. Thank you for being so precious. Every day my heart heals more quickly because of your kindness.