Look, the hour grows late.
Will you come in?
Tomorrow you must ride for Shrewsbury
and you shall need your strength
if you are to repair those grievous wrongs
that Henry Bolingbroke has done you all.
Indeed, well said, good knight.
Let's all to bed.
This heavy business
must have dulled my mind
for I was briefly carried quite away
by philosophic contemplation.
But there are many real things to attend!
Indeed!
Shortly we shall rush unto the field
all harnessed with our
weapons borne aloft!
O what a glorious victory we shall win!
Somewhere King Henry
watches that same sun
and in its slow descent foresees his fall
for sure he knows he shall not see it rise
more than a dozen times again in life.
I shall see my son rise to topple him.
I am no sun.
I am the moon, reflecting
but a light you shine on me.
Not so, the
country's eyes do look to thee.
In all the towns we pass
through the men cry out
'It's Harry Hotspur!' Not Northumberland.
I heard it rumoured
that the Prince of Wales
fled straight to France
the moment thou rode out!
He does not have a reputation
for great prowess in military scenes.
Indeed.
In truth, I pity his father.
The Prince of Wales
cancels all filial bonds
by heaping ignominy on himself
and I am sure his father takes it hard.
To lose a child to war or accident
or any deadly shock, that is a hell
that I pray thou wilt never fall into.
But losing a child because
they bring you shame
must be a deeper still infernal pit.
The shameful child reminds one
of their transgression
every day and in consequence
their face becomes a murder or a rape.
A violation written in that flesh
which once was smiling,
bouncing in your arms
now unwelcome and unfamiliar.
One's mourning clothes are worn invisibly
for shame is hidden in the empty heart
and speaking shame
aloud doth triple shame.
False smiles hiding tears
fill up all the days
until, I am told, by
most unfortunate friends
the parent wishes their
own child were dead.
I am proud of thee, Harry
I thank God thou art my son.
I am relieved
to see a bloom of strength and fortitude
in thee that in myself I have felt fading
as my own sun sets.
- Dad...
- I will not always be here.
None can choose the hour which
they must depart this life.
Before we ride for Shrewsbury I will sign
the deeds of thy inheritance.
Thy name shall be inscribed
and thou shalt take possession
of all legal property,
including Alnwick Castle
and its grounds
that our great ancestors, and thy father
have handed down the ages for thy hands.
I make an early gift of this to thee.
What happens at the end?
Give that back! You
don't know what you're doing!
What happens at the end
of "Henry IV" Part One?
Though yet of Hamlet
our dear brother's death
the memory be green,
and that it us befitted
to bear our hearts in
grief and our whole kingdom
to be contracted as one brow of woe
yet so far hath discretion
fought with nature
that we with wisest sorrow think on him
together with remembrance of ourselves.
Therefore our sometime sister
now our queen
have we, as 'twere with a defeated joy
with mirth in funeral and
with dirge in marriage
taken to wife.
Nor have we herein barr'd
your better wisdoms
which have freely gone
with this affair along.
For all, our thanks.
Now follows, that you
know, young Fortinbras
holding a weak supposal of our worth
or thinking by our late
dear brother's death
our state to be disjoint
and out of frame
colleagud with the dream of his advantage
he hath not failed to
pester us with message
importing the surrender of those lands
lost by his father, with all bonds of law
to our most valiant brother.
So much for him.
Oh Christ!
Now for ourself
and for this time of meeting
thus much the business
is: we have here writ
to Norway, uncle of Fortinbras
who, impotent and bed-rid, scarcely hears
of this his nephew's purpose - to suppress
his further gait herein;
in that the levies
lists and full proportions
are all made
- out of his subject...
- Give me the map.
- And we here dispatch...
- Give me the map.
- You, good Cornelius...
- Give me the map.
- Our loyal friend...
- Give me the map.
For bearer of this greeting to old Norway
giving to you no further personal power
to business with the
king more than the scope
of these delated articles allow.
Farewell...
Give me the map!
And let your haste...
Give me the map, give me the map!
Commend your duty.
Give me
the map! Give me the map!
In that and all things
I will show my duty.
We doubt it nothing: heartily farewell!
And now, Laertes, what
is the news with you?
You told us of some
suit; what is't, Laertes?
Your leave and favour
to return to France
- from whence...
- Give it! Give it!
Though willingly I came to Denmark...
To show my duty
in your coronation, yet now,
I must confess, that duty done
my thoughts and wishes
bend again toward France
and bow them to your gracious leave...
Give me the map!
Have you your father's leave?
He hath, my lord: wrung
from me my slow leave.
I do beseech you, give him leave to go.
Take thy fair hour
Laertes; time be thine
and thy best graces use it at thy will!
And now, Hamlet, our cousin, and our son
how is it that the
clouds still hang on you?
Not so, my lord; I
am too much I'the sun.
Good Hamlet, cast
thy nighted colour off.
Thou know'st 'tis common;
all that lives must die.
Passing through nature to eternity.
Ay, madam
it is common.
If it be, why seems it
so particular with thee?
Seems, madam! nay it
is; I know not 'seems.'
'Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother
together with all forms,
moods, shapes of grief
that can denote me
truly: these indeed seem
for they are actions
that a man might play.
But I have that within which passeth show.
These but the trappings
and the suits of woe.
For your intent in going
back to school in Wittenberg
it is most retrograde to our desire.
And we beseech you, bend you to remain
here, in the cheer and comfort of our eye
our chiefest courtier, cousin, and son.
Let not thy
mother lose her prayers, Hamlet.
I pray you, stay with
us; go not to Wittenberg.
I shall in all my best obey you, madam.
Why, 'tis a loving and a fair reply.
Be as ourself in Denmark.
Madam, come.
O, that this too too
solid flesh would melt
thaw and resolve itself into a dew.
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter.
O God.
God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable
seem to me all the uses of this world!
Whoa. Moood.
Fie on't! ah fie!
'Tis an unweeded garden,
that grows to seed.
Things rank and gross in natur...
Ow! What the fuck!
Sorry! Hi.
Do you remember me?
I am glad to see you well!
Horatio!
Or I do forget myself!
Oh bloody hell.
But what, in faith,
make you from Wittenberg?
I didn't come from chuffing Wittenberg.
I'm from Framlingham!
Look, my name is Jen, okay?
We spoke about 20 minutes ago.
And I've come here. I've come here to
tell you something really important...
I pray thee, do not
mock me, fellow-student.
I think it was to see my mother's wedding.
Oh, for fuck's sake!
Thrift, thrift, Horatio!
The funeral baked meats
did coldly furnish forth
the marriage tables!
My father!
Methinks I see my father.
Where?
In my mind's eye, Horatio.
Okay, right, let me save
you about five hours here.
Hm, your Dad's dead,
your uncle killed him.
Oh! Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern are wronguns
don't be mean to Ophelia
don't stab anyone through a curtain
uh, watch out for the Norwegians
and stay away from fencing tournaments.
Now this place, this world?
It's not what you think it is.
And you're not who you think you are.
Look, I know this gonna sound unbelievable
but I think you're really...
Hail to your Lordship!
Marcellus, hello!
What make you from
Wittenberg, my worthy friend?
A truant disposition, good my lord!
Oh, I would not hear your enemy say so
nor shall you do mine ear that violence
to truster your own
report against yourself.
I know you are no truant.
What are you doing?
My lord, I came to see
your father's funeral.
I saw him once; he was a goodly King.
He was a man, take him for all in all
I shall not look upon his like again.
Sorry, excuse me, Prince Hamlet
could I please borrow, um...
What's your name supposed to be?
Marcellus.
Can I borrow her? I'll
bring her right back!
No!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to fix your bloody mess!
No, Sam, you said these
characters are just antibodies.
They're not, she's
trapped here just like us!
Don't pretend you
have the slightest idea
what's going on down here
when 90 minutes ago you still believed
you were married to an Ancient Roman!
You need to sit down
and think about your behaviour, duck egg.
Everything was going fine
up there until you broke it.
Now we've been kicked all
the way down to the bottom!
So what?
Look, let's just tell her and we can all
find a way out together.
The only way out is back up there
at the end of "Henry IV" Part One
which we now can't get to
because one of the major characters
is having an identity crisis!
You're lucky we ended up in "Hamlet."
If we'd fallen into "Titus Andronicus"
we could have been baked into pies!
I checked the map. I know
what happens to her at the end.
Well nothing happens now
because you've derailed the whole thing!
What's meant to happen is Prince Hal
proves himself worthy of the crown
by saving his father's life
and defeating Harry Hotspur.
She dies!
Hotspur ends up as the tragic foil
for Prince Hal's transformation...
But she dies!
Dies nobly.
Dies giving a beautiful speech
about time and life and honour.
Would you take that away?
Would you say, 'Hey,
actually, all those things
you think you did, all
those accomplishments
that was all a lie.
Those people that love you,
they don't really love you
they just love this
character you're performing.'
Do you think it's right
to inflict that kind of
knowledge on someone?
To rip them out of their life?
Cheat them out of their death?
They are here because they want to be.
Do you? Do you want to be stuck down here
like one of these dead-eyed zombie cunts?
I've been down here a long time.
A really, really fucking long time.
And I need to get out.
I wasn't Cleopatra.
When I woke up in "Antony and
Cleopatra" I wasn't Cleopatra.
I was Messenger Number 7.
I had one line in Act III.
'The emperor calls Canidius.'
That was my whole character.
My whole world, one line.
It's not even ten syllables.
Even if you really milk
'emperor' it's still only nine.
I said that line until I
was sick to death of it.
I wanted to bash my brains
out or jump off a building.
I was so, so, tired of
being a minor character.
You at least got to be Portia.
You got to stand up there being beautiful
and clever and have loads of lines, it...
It broke my heart.
One line was all of everything I ever got.
Until one night I realised
I'm bigger than this!
And I deserve to have a bit of recognition
and self determination in life, don't I?
I worked hard to get that map
and to get you out, and now...
I don't have anything
left to give anymore.
I'm sorry.
Sam, I-I'm sorry, I got caught up in it.
Okay, let's go.
It might not be too late.
Maybe you can still get up
there and get to that door.
Okay?
Yeah.
Prince Hamlet?
Um, I'm sorry to have interrupted.
I just thought maybe
you'd like to come with us
rather than stay here.
To be
or not to be
that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune
or to
take arms against a sea of troubles
and by opposing end them?
To die: to sleep.
No more.
And by a sleep to say we end
the heart-ache and the
thousand natural shocks
that flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
devoutly to be wish'd.
To die, to sleep.
To sleep: perchance to dream.
Ay, there's the rub.
For in that sleep of
death what dreams may come
when we have shuffled off this mortal coil
must give us pause: there's the respect
that makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the
whips and scorns of time
to grunt and sweat
under a weary life
but that the dread of
something after death
which makes us rather
bear those ills we have
than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does
make cowards of us all
and thus the native hue of resolution
is sicklied o'er with
the pale cast of thought
and enterprises of great pith and moment
with this regard their currents turn awry
and lose the name of action.
Harry?
Kate?
Thy uncle charged me
that I bring thee this.
He bids thee put on thy armour at once.
Your powers are arranged at Shrewsbury
and soon King Henry's army will be here.
Wait...
I just said that because I'm supposed to.
I don't know how I got
here, or how you got here.
Harry, what's going on?
It's okay.
You've been dreaming.
I'll tell you what you need to do.
Give me that, then get on a
horse and ride back to Alnwick.
I don't even know how to ride a horse.
There's none back there anyway!
Of course you do, how
else did you get here?
I don't know!
I don't know.
I don't remember anything
except when I'm with you.
My whole life just exists
just to facilitate you!
Something's wrong, don't you
remember that conversation
we had at Alnwick and that noise?
It was just a dream.
Give me that and ride home, Kate.
Are you even listening to
me? Stop ordering me around!
That is thy role! That
is thy calling, Kate!
It is what God and Nature hath assigned.
It is not Woman's place to give commands.
It is not Woman's place to rule thyself.
I would be softer with thee if I could
but this our war is
forged of swords and mail.
No weakness nor no womanly gentleness
can we allow to creep into our hearts
and so thou must away.
Thou must.
Just go!
Fine.
It's impossible to be around you
when you're like this anyway.
I don't know how I've ever
managed to tolerate it.
Love, I suppose.
I love you.
One of you: the one who
actually communicates.
But this one
I'd rather walk into that darkness
and find my way through
than stay here with you.
Look at me! You've cut me in two as well.
I'm discarding the Kate that's
been acting as your spinoff.
I'm throwing her away.
And so I say goodbye
and I say good luck
but I'm saying it to other Harry
because this character that
I'm looking at right now
other Kate might have
loved you, but I don't.
Good morrow, nephew!
I just saw thy Kate come by me
with her eyes all veiled in tears.
I sent her home.
Her woman's heart did break
in being parted from me
but t'was right.
My heart doth burn to
charge into the field!
The red hot breath of action roars in me!
Five hundred Cheshire yeoman have we, yes?
We shall arrange them up by Harlescott
Better to look down upon the field
and rain their missiles
on King Henry's power!
The cavalry from Wales...
Yea, yea, but first...
This letter comes
from old Northumberland.
A letter from him. Why
comes he not himself?
He cannot come: he
says he is grievous sick.
I prithee, tell me,
doth he keep his bed?
He did, his rider said, four days ago
and at the time of his departure thence
he was much feared by his physicians.
We must amend our plans: I say withdraw.
Yet all goes well, yet
all our joints are whole!
I loath to crush that
Spring in you, my lord
with further winter words
but here's further news.
The Earl of Westmoreland,
seven thousand strong
is marching hitherwards;
with him Prince John.
No harm: what more?
And further, I have learn'd
the king himself in person is set forth
with strong and mighty preparation!
He shall be welcome too.
Where is his son, that
nimble-footed madcap Prince of Wales
and his comrades?
All furnish'd, all in arms.
All plumed like estridges
that with the wind
baited like eagles having lately bathed.
Glittering in golden coats, like images
as full of spirit as the month of May
and gorgeous as the sun...
Let them come on: they come
like sacrifices in their trim
and to the fire-eyed maid of smoky war
all hot and bleeding will we offer them!
We'll fight with him tonight.
Good nephew, be
advised; we must withdraw!
You speak but out of
fear and a cold heart.
Do me no slander, Douglas: by my life
I hold as little counsel with weak fear
as you my lord, or any man that lives!
The number of the king exceedeth ours.
For God's sake nephew, we must withdraw!
Thy father's sickness is a maim to us
a perilous gash, a very limb lopped off.
Before we rode from Bangor father gave
all deeds and rights of
my inheritance to me.
All powers and authority.
He trusted me to be our family.
I am the latest in that line of sons
that stretcheth back
through centuries long gone.
Each drop of blood in
me doth bear that debt.
I'll play the
part of old Northumberland
and you shall see his manly strength in me
reflected as a blade reflects the sun.
My Lord of Worcester,
is this not Hotspur?
Why doubt you his prowess in leading us?
Have you no pride in
him? Have you no faith?
If Hotspur says that we can win this fight
then I shall stand
beside him and not quail.
Pray, do not take my caution as a sign
that I am not proud of thee.
I am. Thy life has run
by in so small a span.
Why I recall, but yesterday it seems
a little boy who stood not three feet high
and could not mount his horse.
I picked him up, I sat him in
the saddle, gave him reigns.
He galloped off.
And now he has returned
though I and that boy
both have been transformed
by time, and I see now
thou art a man.
Your love doth make
me twice the man I am.
And if I fall, so falls the man you know
with all these honours you bestow intact.
How now, my rebel lords!
It is not well that you and
I should meet upon such terms
as now we meet.
You have deceived our trust
making us doff the easy robes of peace
to crush our old limbs in ungentle steel.
It is not well, my lords, it is not well.
For mine own part, I
could be well content
to entertain the lag-end of my life
with quiet hours; for I do protest
I have not sought the day of this dislike.
You have not sought it? Hah!
How comes it then?
It pleased your majesty
to turn your looks
of favour from myself and all our house!
If Hotspur's good
deserts have been forgot
we bid you name your
griefs and with all speed
you shall have your desires with interest
and pardon absolute for yourself and these
herein misled by your suggestion.
Do not believe this
snake, this King of smiles
who knows but how to promise, not to pay!
This must be Douglas,
Scotland's hairy thane
though out of orbit, Heaven
knows you're further south
than he has a right to be!
Your majesty should check the map again.
Put muzzles on your dog before he bites
or you shall answer to the
crown for him.
We gave you that same royalty you wear.
And when you were not
six and twenty strong
sick in the world's
regard, wretched and low
my father gave you welcome to the shore.
And when the lords and barons of the realm
perceived Northumberland did lean to you
the more and less came
in with cap and knee!
In short time after, you deposed the king.
Soon after that, deprived him of his life.
Disgraced me in my happy victories
rated mine uncle from the council-board.
In rage dismissed my
father from the court.
Broke oath on oath,
committed wrong on wrong
and in conclusion drove us to seek out
this head of safety; and withal to pry
into your title, the which we find
too indirect for long continuance!
These things indeed you have articulate
with some fine colour
that may please the eye
to face the garment of rebellion.
In both our armies there is many a soul
shall pay full dearly for this encounter
if once they join in trial.
Therefore Hotspur: I do not
think a braver gentleman
more active-valiant or more valiant-young
more daring or more bold, is now alive.
For my part, I may speak it to my shame
I have a truant been to chivalry
yet this before my father's majesty
I will, to save the blood on either side
try fortune with you in a single fight.
You cannot offer this in earnestness.
Presume not that I am the thing I was
for God doth know, so
shall the world perceive
that I have turn'd away my former self.
In thy image I now create my life.
An image, nothing more, a thin shadow
a mere player dressing as a man.
So much art thou, a fake, a counterfeit!
I'll rip thy honour from thee at the root!
I'll drag thee 10 times
round the walls of Troy
and make a trophy of thy battered corpse!
This quarrel lies not just
on your heads alone.
Therefore, I say
to arms!
Sound every drum!
Rebuke and dread correction wait on us!
We offered fair, yet now we'll set on you
and God befriend us, as our cause is just!
To arms, gentlemen, to
arms and steel yourselves!
Raugh!
It's close!
The doorway's close, we're almost there!
Hold up thy head,
vile Scot, or thou art like
never to hold it up again.
It is the Prince of Wales
that threatens thee!
The Douglas is pursued!
Nay, 'tis not him!
It is, I saw him
through the smoke, it is!
Our allies need our aid,
come, mount your horse!
Nay, where is Hal? Where
is the Prince of Wales?
I saw him even now! The Prince must die!
Your rivalry can wait,
they need our help!
Without it I am nothing!
Go, I'll stay, and if I
cannot find him I will come.
Hal!
This is it!
Get out of here!
We can't stay, it's too dangerous!
This is the spot!
- There's nothing here!
- Sam, we have to leave!
This is where the doorway will be!
Go to! I'll cut you down!
I say go to!
But this is where you die!
I know where I'm supposed to be!
Girl, I don't think you do!
We've made it.
We've made it!
Who are they?
People.
Real people!
Hi. I'm Sam.
What's your name?
Angie.
Angie! Hi Angie!
I'll see you on the other side, Angie!
Come on!
I'm coming home!
Are you coming?
Where?
Out.
No!
Why not? She did it.
My father, my uncle, Kate
my whole life is here.
It's just a performance.
Prince Hal. Prince Hal
is here, I have to...
It's just a performance.
It's your line.
If I mistake not,
thou art Harry Monmouth.
Thou speak'st as if
I would deny my name.
My name...
My name is Harry Hotspur!
No. No no no, wait, please...
I am a son, I am a nephew
I... Am princely
I am mighty.
I am loved. And I am happy!
Nay, do not shake thy head
I say I am the happiest man on earth
for I have all that men could ever wish!
Go thou thy ways, foul thing,
and nevermore I beg thee
nevermore to visit me.
I say again I am the happiest man!
I'll find you. You look
out for me next time.
But we will go together. I will find you...
I am the Prince of Wales
and think not, Percy
to share with me in glory any more.
Two stars keep not their
motion in one sphere
nor can one England brook a double reign
of Harry Hotspur and the Prince of Wales.
Nor shall it, Harry;
for the hour is come
to end the one of us; and would to God
thy name and glory were
now as great as mine.
I'll make it greater
ere I part from thee
and with the budding honours on thy crest
I'll crop, to make a garland for my head!
Raaaugh!
You have a speech now.
You're supposed to give a
beautiful speech about honour
and pride and death.
And then you go out nobly,
and I get to be magnanimous.
Thus ever did rebellion find rebuke.
When that this body did contain a spirit
a kingdom for it was too small a bound.
But now
two paces of the vilest earth
is room enough: this
earth that bears it dead
bears not alive so stout a gentleman.
Well done, my boy.
I am proud of thee at last.
No, foolish thing...
Lay on...
Lay on ya wee and scrawny thing...
Do you not love me...
So shaken as we are, so wan with care
find we a time for frighted peace to pant
and breathe short-winded
accents of new broils
to be commenced in strands afar remote.
No more the thirsty entrance of this soil
shall daub her lips with
her own children's blood.
Nor more shall trenching
war channel her fields
nor bruise her flowerets
with the armd hoofs
of hostile paces: those opposd eyes
which, like the meteors
of a troubled heaven
all of one nature, of one substance bred
did lately meet in the intestine shock
and furious close of civil butchery
shall now, in mutual well-beseeming ranks
march all one way
and be no more opposed
against acquaintance, kindred
and allies.
The edge of war, like
an ill-sheathd knife
no more shall cut his master.
Therefore, friends, as far as to the
sepulchre of Christ
forthwith a power of English shall we levy
whose arms were moulded
in their mothers' wombs
to chase those pagans
from those holy fields.
But this our purpose now is 12 month old
and bootless 'tis to tell you we will go.
Therefore we meet not now.
Then let me hear from you,
most valued loyal friend
what yesternight our council did decree
in forwarding this dear expedience.
My liege, this haste was hot in question
and many limits of the charge set down
but yesternight: when
all athwart there came
a post from Scotland,
leaden with grave news.
Harry Hotspur, or so you call her
fought valiantly against
the Earl of Douglas.
Because war makes men of us
or so she'd been told
and her father loved her for it.
Raugh!
Raugh!
Lay on!
Lay on ya wee and scrawny thing
I've fought grandmothers
with more strength than ye!
Raugh!
Raugh!
And she wasn't alone.
She had Prince Hal with her
who had trudged all the way from London
to see if he could kill a part of himself
as easily as Hotspur killed Scots.
Yea, there thou makest me sad
and makest me sin in envy
that my Lord Northumberland
should be the father to so blest a child
a...
daughter
who is the theme of honour's tongue.
Whi-whi-whilst I, by
looking on the praise of...
see riot and dishonour stain
the brow of my young worry.
I mean Harry.
I worry.
I don't want him to miss out
on everything I've set aside for him.
On your feet, Prince Hal.
- These wars make men of us.
- Are you a man?
A spent one.
O that it could be proved
that some night-tripping fairy
had exchanged Northumberland's
child with mine
when they were born
then would I have his Harry, and he mine.
I don't mean that.
My boy. I don't mean that.
Are you Northumberland or Henry?
I'm Dad?
I'm Dad!
Where are we?
Hi!
Do any of you recognise this?
Hey.
Hey, hey!
I'm really sorry I'm late.
The train it just decided
to stop in Hayward's Heath
for 15 minutes for
absolutely no fucking reason.
Bloody Thameslink, hey?
How are you?
I'm good, how are you... oh! Oh.
You're looking well.
Yea... thanks! Yeah.
Good to see you.
Could have picked a nicer day for it mind.
Yeah, yeah, the Boardwalk's
usually really nice in summer.
I guess the cold weather's
still clinging on.
Yeah, the weather those
couple of days last week though
when it was gorgeous, but yeah,
I guess winter's back now.
So you've been up to anything?
Um, yeah. I'm all over.
I'm London based
but I've just got back
from Belize last week.
- Belize?
- Yeah!
It's gorgeous, I went on this
huge hike to this huge lake
called Five Blues, 'cause
it's got five rivers
running into it, and
then some howler monkeys
chucked poo at me.
I thought that was made up
but it turns out wild monkeys
actually really do throw shit at you.
It was fine! I just
washed it off in the lake.
Well, I don't think I could do that.
Where else have you been?
All over, um...
I did the Caribbean first,
as soon as I got out
and got my life together.
And I really needed some sun
so I got a job on a cruise
ship, believe it or not!
Really?
Yeah! Really interesting people.
Quite a lot like us actually.
We had a little on-board community.
Yeah, there was this one girl from Glasgow
who'd been stuck inside
"The Taming of the Shrew"
and this Dutch guy who'd
played Duke Frederick
in "As You Like It"
and um, oh!
One of the chefs had recently
escaped from a dimension
that was entirely "Phantom of the Opera."
Just "Phantom of the Opera?"
No "Cats" or "Jesus Christ Superstar" or...
Apparently not, no.
Apparently there's no interconnected
Lloyd-Weber-verse down
there, it's just "Phantom."
For 35 years.
What about you?
Oh yeah, I'm good. I'm
um, I'm directing a play.
Yeah, in Brighton. At the Brighton Fringe.
Yeah, yeah.
No.
No, sorry. That was a lie.
I just um...
I came here.
That's nice. Peaceful.
The seaside?
Yeah, it's tough.
It's like... Now what, y'know?
I'm really glad to see you again.
Thank you for reaching out.
Of course.
I mean, it's whatever.
You got out; I got out.
All's Well That Ends Well.
Do not talk to me like Shakespeare. Blegh!
Oh my god, sorry.
I genuinely didn't even
realise I was doing it.
I got you a present actually.
Turn around.
Ta-dah!
It came in handy.
It's not magic anymore.
I just thought it might look
cool on a shelf or something.
Well
thank you.
I'm meeting some old friends
for lunch. Do you wanna come?
I'd better get ready for work.
You sure? What time's your shift?
Um, it's not till this evening but um...
I've still got some stuff
to sort out in the flat, so.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, good to see you, yeah?
Oh yeah.
I-I'll message you sometime
maybe next time you're in Brighton.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah!
You take it easy, yeah?
Hey.
Hey gorgeous!
You're looking good, girl!
Thank you!
Where's the others?
They're just catching up. Is Sam coming?
Uh, no, I don't...
Oh, is she in?
Oh, no.
Did you give her the map back?
Yeah, I um... I invited
her to come with us.
It does take some people
a little bit longer.
Remember what Dad was like?
It's not your fault. You offered.
It is hard to get used to
playing a new role, as it were.
That's life though, isn't
it; that's everything.
All the world's a stage.