Hi! help I don’t even know where to start ㅠㅠ I know you’re in Paris right now and just finished the Music Show so you’re probably exhausted and resting by the time that i post this so I might not be able to catch your time but I’ve been trying to find the right time to write to you again and this is the only one i got so….
I’m gonna be honest Kevin I have no idea whats going on with the world anymore lol I’ve been so inactive in all social media. i’ve just been starting movies or series and I drop half way because my attention span can’t do shit. I’m basically like a ghost.
So I feel bad because I feel like I’m missing out on so much of your contents that I don’t feel like a real fan anymore. Thats why I’m also here to tell you that I’m not going to k-verse. I know I said in my last letter that I’ll be seeing you soon but I just got way ahead of myself.
My family didn’t approve of me going. I mean they did but it was mostly like “You can do whatever you want but we don’t support it” type of way that my whole mind and body just broke. Aside from that I felt like I was in no place to deserve seeing you again compared to my other friends who would go the extra mile for you. I don’t deserve it.
And yes a letter from a coward because I couldn’t take any risks in my life. I starved myself and worked my ass off trying to save money to enter for a Video Call Event and I couldn’t even do 1 entry and i’ve been saying I would for the past 3 comebacks. I’m grown enough to make my own decision but couldn’t stand up to my family for what makes me happy.
I always thought that my biggest strength was that I always prioritized myself, my health and everything but I feel like i protect my peace too much that I’m slowly losing sight of what it really is like to live. I’m trapped Kevin and I don’t know what to do.
As April 11 approaches and The Boyz is finally coming to the Philippines I feel like breaking apart. You’re gonna be a few kilometers away from me but I will be nowhere near seeing you and I feel like I’m gonna be in my biggest depression. The jealousy I get from seeing my friends will probably be unbearable and the Idea of “I’m not there because I don’t deserve it” is gonna eat me. But these are the consequences of my own actions, my own decisions. I have nothing else to do but to learn from it.
Please promise me there will be a next time Kevin and that next time better be a solo concert because now I will promise you I’ll be there I PROMISE !!! i sweat it on my dog’s life !!
lol Kev I cant even muster up the courage to tell Sunwoo that I won’t be attending the concert right before his birthday I feel like the worst cloud ever 😔 kiss him for me please :>>
P.s. I know that this is such a selfish request but can you tell the members not to post to much Philippines content I will be literally crying for the week hehe ty
아름다웠던 거기서 다시 만나! For my life, Kevin, Thank you Mahal kita 💗⛄️- Z e i a h