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Hellooooo, Kevin!
It’s Ryna with many many hobbies and I finally finished Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime.
I actually finished it a few days ago, but it didn’t feel like a good time to come here and talk. I saw other people come here to give you guys comforting words and such. Since I don’t really know your situation nor can I pretend to understand the gravity of it, I don’t think I can say anything about it.
However, may I offer you a distraction instead?
Like I said, I’ve finished reading Born a Crime. So, let’s talk about it! The subject is quite serious, though. I promise to make it not too heavy, just like the book did.
Trevor Noah was born during The Apartheid, which I didn’t know what it was before reading. I’m aware that this type of situation might have happened, but I didn’t know how it was in South Africa. The world history taught in my school seems to focus on the US, that horrific thing in Europe, a couple of horrific things in Asia, and horrible things here in our country. Since the Apartheid is like segregation but worse, I thought it ended around the same time segregation did in the US, like long ago, like 50-60 years ago. Nope, it ended in 1994. 1994! I was already born when this thing was still going on. His being born was a crime since it was illegal for a black woman and a white man to have a child together. He had to live the first few years of his life acting like his mom was not his mom and his dad was not his dad.
The book is more intense than I thought it would be. HIS LIFE is more intense than I thought it would be. It (the book) is still filled with humor and a hopeful yet realistic look on life and society. I enjoyed it. I got angry at some parts, but the anger was aimed at the situation, not Trevor.
I highlighted some parts, wanna read and talk about them? (No? Well, I’m doing it, so feel free to skip.)
First, let’s start with the paragraph I stumbled upon and got me interested in reading the book.
Doesn’t his mom sound amazing?
She’s funny, too. It’s heartbreaking that such a person had to endure years of abusive relationship, the one she couldn't escape from because she knew if she did, she would be killed. Gosh, that’s heavy already.
What she said was right and it’s annoying that some people are still like that. But, not only that, the idea has been romanticized for ages in the media. It’s literally the theme of (500) Days of Summer. That’s what Tom was doing. He pressured Summer who kept saying she didn’t wanna be in a relationship to say that they’re in a relationship. He’s the villain, but for years people thought Summer was the villain for breaking this nice guy’s heart. Summer was lucky Tom got depressed, and not violent.
People sympathize with Tom because he’s lovable, relatable, and ofc, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
This brings us to the next 2 paragraphs I highlighted.
I think this is one of the things people don’t understand when they tell you to just leave the bad situation you’re in. This kind of situation/relationship messes with your mind, your self-esteem, and your sense of what love is supposed to be.
I think he explained it well. He talked about how he used to blame his mom for not leaving and his mom used to believe that any bad situations that happen to you is your decision, your doing. When in reality, they’re both victims.
DV is on the news almost daily lately. There’s a lot of news coming out about several celebrities being abusers. There’s even more about non-famous people, but because they’re not famous, the news didn’t get talked about as much.
The other day an influencer was shot by her ex. She broke up with him because he was hitting her, and then that happened. A while back, a woman and her son were shot not too far from my home, like 5 minutes away by car. It happened in a school in the early morning when they had an orientation for new students. The father did it because the mom broke up with him and moved out. He then k-word himself right after. That school is my mom’s and my brother’s alma mater.
Even when you try to leave bad situations, they follow you.
I’m not saying all of this to bring you down. There’s a comfort in knowing your friends(?) or people you surround yourself with understand the world in a similar way that you do and that they see the problems you see. This is everywhere. I’m seeing it in the news as I’m reading about it in a book. It happens where I live and it happens on the other side of the world. I think when you know that the people you surround yourself with see and recognize the complexity of the problem, it makes it less likely for them to do it to you or people around them. Like, you wouldn’t want to be with people who watch this kind of news and be like “well, she deserved it. Why did she stay with them for so long?” or “why are you upset? These things happen.” If you (yes you) are with someone and they say that, RUN. Men can be victims of abusive relationships, too. It’s important to notice every shade of red flags before it’s too late.
Let’s move on.
Breaking a generational curse? We love to see it!
I really hope more people have this attitude instead of “people were horrible to me, so I’m miserable and on a mission to do the same to everyone else.” But, I also know that it’s hard to know better ways to treat people if you were never shown one. That’s why we should try to show people the better ways.
It’s hard, though. I tend to just avoid people who like causing misery altogether. But would that be enabling them to do it to other people because they can’t do it to me? I don’t know.
I hope that when you have this kind of question, you have someone to talk about it with. I hope you have someone to talk about mental health and wellness with, too.
I do, though. I don’t just write to a kpop idol and call that a therapy session. I do have someone I can talk about personal issues with. These letters are for funsies and never that serious.
I talk about serious things with my friends for fun (and for comfort) all the time. That’s just what I do as an English major whose best friends are English majors and a psychology major. Sometimes we would exchange tiktok videos we thought were funny, but the other person would react in a way we didn’t expect. Like, “well, that could be cute, but maybe that’s a trauma response to…” or “I only agree to half of what they said because if you look at the historical aspect of it, it’s…”
We would discuss it, gain new perspectives, and move on. I can talk seriously about silly things or nerd out without being apologetic about it. I’m so grateful for my friends. I’m thankful for you too for reading this. And if you’re just skimming, that’s fine too. I’m still thankful (but the percentage of my thankfulness depends on how much you read now😇 /jk)
Moving on.
Last quote is actually something that reminds me of you.
I know you know that it means a lot for fans in different countries when you try to speak their languages or do research on what’s popular/interesting about their regions.
I actually don’t have anything to expand on this lol. It just reminds me of you. I really appreciate the kind of person you are to your fans.
That’s all for the quotes I wanted to share. All in all I really like the book. I used to not like biographies because it felt like reading a textbook. If your story doesn’t involve a world with magical creatures or some kind of apocalypse, why would I waste my time reading it? But, biographies broaden the world you already live in. I’ve grown to see why people read them.
OK. I’m done with the book now. Let’s talk world tour.
Well, I knew the world tour was coming. Someone pretended they didn’t hint at it on twt. #worldwide
Let’s do it!
The last one was great, but I know this tour will be way better because 1) you’ll be 11. 2) you’ve learned a lot from the last tour. 3) I’ve learned a lot from the last tour. 4) Hopefully, your company has learned a lot from the last tour(?) Since we’ve all learned a lot from the last tour (that must have been the most times that ‘learned a lot from the last tour’ was used in a paragraph), I hope this one will be physically and mentally healthier, more prepared, appropriately organized, and overall a more satisfying tour to you. 🤞 Also hope that when you announce the North American leg, Canada’s on it🤞
(If you guys don’t do Thailand, I’ll personally hunt down whoever made that decision😃)
I’m going now. I hope to see you soon!
Love you (strictly platonically),
Ryna x
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