HI, HI~ 👋🏼
JACOB, I FINALLY SAW YOU UP CLOSE 😭 I don’t even know where or how to start telling you all about June 26th… My head (and heart) is such a mess right now 🫠
Too much going on here, so many feelings… But I’ll try to follow a chronological order hehehe
Recently, as you can tell in case you frequently check your fancafe page, I haven’t been able to write consistently anymore. Part of me just wasn’t feeling like putting out or even organizing everything I was going through in the past couple months. And, well, I didn’t want to write only about bad things in these letters every day. But it wasn’t the main point, I swear, it’s not like I’m the one who tells you to share the weight when it gets heavy if I myself don’t do it kekekeke Also, the lack of sleep was killing me, so I had to prioritize my sleeping schedule for a while 😅
SOOOOOOO…
Everything seemed like playing against this concert in my life: my car broke the week before the concert, and the car they gave me temporarily was a very oldie boy 😂 so I was kinda scared it wouldn’t make it to Gifu - even though the venue is just a 45-min drive away from my house 😅
SERIOUSLY, I had never went to a concert this close to my house, Cobie, thank you for coming to Gifu 🥺🤍
We struggled to find a parking lot too, so I was starting to sweat 😂 And omg it was a Monday, I didn’t bring any makeup to retouch, like all deobis did. It was just me and my dream 😂😂😂😂
Also, I had work after the concert 🫠 Due to a recent change of companies inside the hiring part of my work, I lost all my paid days-off 💔 So yeah, I told them I was to going to get to work later than usual and went to the concert planning to come back as fast as I could once it ends.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
I was like, mentally, “please, not today not today no today” and the roulette was like, 🤭🤭🤭🤭
Yup, for the first time in all my 23 years of existence in this life, I won a Meet & Greet 🥹🥲🥹🥲🥹
JACOOOOOOOB 😭
I was thinking, NO WAAAAYYYY THIS IS NOT HAPPENING TODAY CJDJKSKDKKSKEKD — but i was 😂
Then it occurred to me just how God really does not act according to our personal will, everything is in His plans in the first place, right? It’s comforting if you look at it the right way… The One who knows what’s best for you is the One taking care of everything in your life. 🤧
The venue was huge 🥹 I loved it kekekeke there was a lot of space inside, places we could sit and rest a little bit while waiting for the time to get to our seats.
Then, of course, our seats! TADAAAAAM! ☺️ 2nd floor was the way~ I’m always sitting pretty far from the stage 😅 Where’s my luck to get a front row seat for once in my life? 🙏🏼
It’s kinda sad not being able to shoot any video/take pictures… Ever since The B Zone last year, which was when I started going to concerts, we’ve been able to record at least 1 performance, so this was the first time I left the concert without a single proof of your pretty existence 🥲 But it’s fine, I told myself to enjoy the most I could since there wouldn’t be this worry about when to get my phone 😂 And it was THE BEST! Since the hall itself is relatively smaller then Kobe’s, for example, the view was so so so great! I could watch The Boyz dancing skills and synchronization perfectly well! 🔥 Ma boyz always delivering EVERYTHING 😭
Remarkable notes to Awake, Whisper, DDD, Breaking Dawn and Maverick ️️️️ I have never ever screamed and sang out loud like this before 😂😂 My vocal cords dying~~~ But it was so worth it!!!! DDD WAS SO GOOD, it was the best moment in my concert life, Cobie!!!
I rewatched the Seoul concert yesterday with my mom hehehehe Thnking about it now, I missed hearing your voice in Gifu 🤧 I’m trying my best to scream louder kekekekekekeke ((failing in like, 80% of my tries but 😂😂😂)) Cobie does a high note, *scream*. Cobie smiles, *scream*. Cobie talks, *smile and scream*. 😂
You deserve to feel loved and appreciated during the concerts too, so I’mma fight everyone who tries to ignore you!!!! 😤 Just kidding kekekekkee
But, I mean it, whatever depends on me, I wanna make sure you feel like that. You’re so talented, Jacob, your high notes…????? BOY, do you eat CDs??? 🫠 Not everyone can do what you do on that stage, you know?
I have to say it, of course I’m not any dance expert or whatsover, but I really really love the way you dance 😔😭 I love your duality kekeke (it makes me scream “whaaaaaaaaaaat??!!!”) How you can dance so cutely and then switch completely 💫 Mental health? What mental health???? 😂
Although the view was great, you know, I still need to get my eye surgery kekekekeke So…. Seeing where you guys were looking and waving at was kinda impossible, I had to trust my instincts 😂😂
Did you see the flag during the concert? 🥹
I hope OT11 saw it 😔🙏🏼🤍 I did my best to show it kekekeke You guys are so special and loved even at the other side of the world!!!
I made a promise with my deobi friends from a group chat - we’re all online friends - to meet them in person at a TBZ concert in Brazil. So, hopefully… soon?? 👀👀👀
As the concert was approaching the end, my heart started to run 🫠 I felt anxiety coming closer, like a wave inside my chest… It almost felt like I wouldn’t be able to do it, you know, see you guys in person. But there I was, in line, ready for Group B to be called. 🫠🫠🫠
I was so insecure about whether going in with the flag or not… like, to be honest, sometimes I get scared somebody will treat me differently 😅 I mean, for some fans it may be bothersome to have another country’s flag in their only pic with their fav artist…? So I kinda tried to think considering their thoughts too… But in the end, I just said, I’LL DO IT 😂😂😂
I knew it was going to be quick, like, just get in, take the pic, and leave. But it was WAY FASTER than I thought with the staff tapping our backs to rush us out 😬
All I remember is walking in and seeing your face first, Cobie. But it was way too fast for my brain to register the scene in my memory 😥 I stayed right in front of Juyeon and Sunwoo 🫣 NDNFKSKSKSKSKDKSK (I’m not okay)
I remember I looked back and saw Juyeon’s face 🫣 BOOOY, JACOB, YOU GUYS ARE SO TALL 🫣🫣 I became those garden gnomes 😂😂😂😂
Now the point is: I have this difficulty in socializing with people… like, I really do. Specially when I’m way too nervous and anxious, I end up saying things the wrong way or something super cliche/cringey comes out… 😞 It’s hard being myself. The luckiest and happiest moments, like the one time I talked to you on a fancall, end up becoming shameful memories inside my mind 😣
Juyeon quietly asked if I was from Brazil, and I answered so weirdly… NDNDKSKDK The worst is I didn’t even noticed I was looking at his lips 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ SOMEBODY PLEASE THROW ME INSIDE A WELL ️🤸♀️🏃♀️
I AM SO SORRY, JUYO, IT WASN’T MY INTENTION, MY BRAIN JUST WASN’T FUNCTIONING VERY WELL 😥
I remember Sunwoo’s face too, but he didn’t look down so…. It was already time to take the pictures and I couldn’t remember Juyo’s reaction to my “Brazil loves you” 💔
Then, when we were done, I tried by best to look at everyone’s faces, but 89% of all I can remember is the staff’s face 😂😂😂😂 Staff meet and greet it was 💁♀️ Maybe I’m just not used to these types of event - I HAVE NEVER WENT TO ONE BEFORE - so I guess with practice, you kinda get used to and learn how look at the members better, the timing, etc.
I remember you and Kevin kinda well, too 🤍 But the rest of the members…? It feels like I didn’t even see them there 💔💔💔💔
Oh! I was dying to know if you guys lowkey talked about these stuff on the way back to the hotel, after the concert… ‘cause now I’m sure all the 11 of you saw the flag 🇷🥹
Also, Kevin’s been stealing a part of my heart - not because he’s the one who’s been publicly commenting about it - but… he’s just renting a house inside my brain ever since I started this concert life…. He’s now even my mom’s bias 🫣 JACOB, DO SOMETHING SNFNKSKDKSKD I worked so hard to make her become a CobCob - I mean, she still loves you, MoonBae is the point here.
Anyways!
I wanted to tell you during the Meet & Greet just how amazing you were that night, but since it wasn’t possible, I left these words here! I’m missing you already 🥺🥺🥺🥺
By now you’re probably all ready to Hiroshima concert, I know you’re gonna slay the stage again, so keep up. Stay confident. If you’re not feeling well, don’t overdo it, okay? Promise? To take care? 🥺
Gooood, I wish you could know how much I love you 😞 A part of me hoping you’re not reading these letters because if we ever meet face to face again and have the time to talk, I would never be brave enough to say it all like that 😳 Plus, my social system part of my brain wouldn’t allow me either so… 😅😅😅
I should go now~~~ Gotta work to keep going to concerts ❤️🩹 By fhe way, Taylor Swift is bringing The Eras Tour to Tokyo next year!!! Since there’s no Seoul, if you’re free, let’s gooooo! Childhood memories hitting hard 🥹 I mean, my plan was going on Saturday, but… Haknyeonie got me hesitant 🤦♀️ NDNDNNSKSK What do you mean you’re coming back here soon…? SPILL AT LEAST A DROP OF THIS TEA 😭 It’s hard not having money to go to both 😞😞😞 Let’s see what happens before the lottery application period is over 🤡
Have a great concert tonight, Jacob Bae, have lots of fun despite this hooooot weather! Sweat a lot again 😂😂 Behave too huuuuh, I won’t be there to see you this time 😂😂😂
SLAY THE STAGE, COBIE!
Thank you so much for being part of THE BOYZ, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You’re always my one in a million, nothing’s changing that too soon! 😊🫣
ILY 🫶🏼
— Ellen ☕️
#TSR: evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - Taylor Swift
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