...is NOT meant for you, never for you; the goodbye, I mean.
Well, hello Kevin ♡ It's beeeeeeeen a long time. I don't know if you're still reading fancafe letters from time to time, but here I am; back and still alive. And if you still do, I hope you don't mind reading my letter that actually...and mostly? tells you about my life updates?
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ First thing first, congratulations for wrapping up the Saitama stop so well. Take a good rest before flying to the next stop. Soooo excited for you to finally back to Manila again 🥰
I'm writing this as I bring some good news and also bad news. It's ✨️balanced✨️ ya knoow. But well, actually, the more I think about it the more I realize it's not necessary to put a label on the news like that? Sooo let's scratch that.
‧⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ Second thing, the title is a recap of my life for the last few weeks. It's the end-of-school-year time for us! My grade 6 students graduated; saying goodbye to them. Some of my coworkers resigned; byebye to them as well. It's bittersweet, honestly; especially saying goodbye to my coworkers, my friends. On one hand, I'm sad I have to let them go, gonna miss them for sure and it's never the same without them. On the other hand, they truly deserve better. I have been working here for almost four years. I watched them come and go, and it always made me reevaluate my life decision lol
You know what I like about farewell party? The foooood 🥗🍛🍜🍝🥘🌮🍲🍟🥞
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ I once said in my previous letter that I'd take IELTS some time in June. And I did and I got the result that I want. Idk whyyy I just have the urge to tell you this because you're there with me in every step of the way despite me being inactive dubby in twitter or here. I believe that you're with meeee.
aaaand there's more. But it's also bittersweet tbh the more I think about it.
It's bittersweet because...I cannot accept it, at least not right now. To study master abroad for me is quite a huge dream (..and also pipe dream as well?) I am grateful to say that I was born and raised in a loving and supportive (be it financially and emotionally) family. I realize it's not a privilege that everyone in the world has. But still, realizing this dream of mine needs a miracle in a form of fully-funded scholarship lol. Without it, I won't ever get there.
Soooo, this is what I've been doing while I go MIA, Kevin. And I will never say goodbye to you despite my absent days being a dubby, because you're my biggest source of inspiration. Just like how you're always making me proud, I hope I can be a fan who makes you proud as well. I will work hard and when someday I get to reach it, I'll proudly say that I have you, cheering me along the way.
And that also being said, I am soooooooo sorry and upset that I won't be there at Zeneration in Jakarta this month 😔 Another reason why I kinda purposely go MIA is because I was making peace with myself. Sometimes I sit down and suddenly I remember that I cannot go. It breaks my heart into billion pieces #hyperbole #butitstrue. Days by days, I am getting better at accepting the reality lol. Probably when it's almost the d-day I'll cry myself to sleep 😂 My feeling is valid tho! I want to see you and my boyz again. But really, god and fate forbid 💔
But hey, there is always next time, right? Next time, I'll be there. Next time, who knows; maybe my dream comes true and I get to see you to share the happiness? Who knows, right? Next time, I'll be seeing youuuu again.
Until then, be safe and healthy, Kevin! Be Kevin Moon from The Boyz whom I cherish 4ever ♡