Hi! ohmygosh its awkward haha I haven’t written a letter in so long I actually don’t know where to begin 😭😭 My last letter was 3 months ago damn! let’s just say there has been so much that has changed. But i’ll start by saying i’ll be seeing you in 2 days! FINALLY AFTER A YEAR 😭 I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to attend the concert and you actually have no idea the lengths I did just so I can attend.
Before I get into that, I kind of missed this detail out of my last letter but my sister gave birth to twins last march! Twin boys!! it’s crazy i’m an aunt to two tiny humans. They’re the reason why i’ve been crazy busy because i’ve been helping my sister taking care of them and helping in the way i feel like co-parenting lol. They’re also the reason why I wasn’t supposed to go to Zeneration Manila. This saturday is their christening! But i have the bestest friends that made it possible for me to go. I have a VIP ticket but I won’t be there during soundcheck. Aunt duties at the christening, I know you understand.
Theres actually so much to update you on and I actually planned on writing a letter daily for a week before the concert but I got caught up with taking care of the babies i drop dead on my bed at the end of the day so I think the letter will ve extra long. I apologize
To continue the I guess ‘life update’ I’ve been doing so well 😭 My nephews truly are angels to me ever since they were born i’ve noticed positive changes in me. I haven’t called out to my therapist for half a year now, and my medications has slowly decreased and right now, IM OFF MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS! Kevin i’m not drinking anti depressants anymore 😭😭😭 I’ve been clean from self harm for a month now.
But ofcourse lets not get complacent I know myself and I know how the universe treats me. all these these great things always cost something in return. I’m still half blind lol and no improvement on my vision which disappoints me on a daily basis. Still not able to go to school, and now, theres an addition to a long list of illnesses under my name.
A recap:
1. Bipolar II
2. Severe Anxiety
3. PTSD
4. Retinal Detachment
5. PCOS
6. Hypothyroidism [NEW]
7. Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrom [NEW]
It’s not life threatening but it makes everyday difficult and life harder to accept.
I’ve been disconnected with everything else because of this. With Kpop with my friends, with myself. I’m proud of myself comparing to before but I just wish I can keep a balance. I have my peace but ImI’m isolated and alone. I’m sufficient but I’m insecure and ashamed. It’s okay. I got this, I always do.
Anyways! My birthday is on July 19! I hope it is t too much to ask for a greet on concert day i’ll be making a sign I’ll post it tom here just incase you are able to see it maybe you can find me in the crowd. I’m sorry for the long letter. I hope you have fun while you’re here Kevin, I’ll write again tomorrow!
아름다웠던 거기서 다시 만나!
For my life, Kevin, Thank you
Mahal kita 💗⛄️- Z e i a h
here’s a cute picture of my nephews :>>
and an update on what I currently look like ☺️☺️