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She’s aliveeee!! Long time time no see, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve checked in. I think the last letter I wrote was back in February… I’ve been busy (wow who would’ve guessed that) but also just lazy LOL. Let’s see what’s there to catch up on!
March & April was mostly just school, school, and more school. Studio classes really got me especially my painting class. I wouldn’t say I’m Picasso or anything but I learned that I don’t despise fine arts as much as I thought I did. To clarify I don’t hate looking at fine arts, I dislike doing them because I’m a Graphic Designer so Fine Arts is not my cup of tea. I have a bad tendencies to comparing myself to others (I can’t help it 😫) especially when some of these classes are so fast pace. I’m like sorry I can barely draw this egg and you expect me to draw a live model within the first 3 weeks of the semester?? Apologies to the live models, I promise you don’t look like that, I just can’t draw realistically. Also not that there’s anything wrong with drawing unclothed models, because I can appreciate the nature of human anatomy, but a heads up would’ve been nice. I’m a person who is very uncomfortable with just sensual things, so when I come in to class and the model just drops their robe…you betcha I was shooketh.
However, I really enjoyed my painting class the deeper we got into the course. I’m pretty proud of the pieces I made in class. Again I’m no Picasso, but for no training I think they are pretty good.
Also I’m like 90% convinced I have ADHD. My TikTok algorithm must be listening to me talk about it so it’s feeding me with ADHD related content. I also talked to a few friends who study pre-med (not that they are licensed doctors or anything) but they’re telling about common ADHD traits and I check all those boxes. It makes sense why I was absolute garbage at test taking, specifically standardized test. Like we are surprised ya girl got a good enough ACT score to get into college. Putting me in a room for 8 hrs to take one test…aint no way you expected me to be able to focus that long. Well I didn’t which is why even on practice tests, the success rate of the first half of the subject sections was higher than the second half LMAO. My brain completely just stops functioning & remembering if you don’t let me fidget or have a thinking break. Even whilst writing this letter, I keep thinking of new topics to talk about and I have like three other unfinished paragraphs I started; but if I don’t write them down now I won’t remember. Also no wonder caffeine does not affect me. Throughout highschool and college, caffeine never worked for me, if anything makes me sleepy. I can drink coffee at 9pm and still sleep all night. Also my attention span is so short which is why I can’t keep up with movies or tv shows unless because I cannot sit to focus on something that long. My friends also know not to take it personal when I cannot remember 70% of our conversations because no offense most conversations just go over or through my head because I’m distracted or just no longer present. That calls for a good secret keeper because I can’t spread them if I wanted because I don’t remember the secrets 💀.
Anyways back to the recap. In March I was also really lucky to have one of my pieces be displayed in an art exhibition! I will say though because I’m so used to seeing fine arts like paintings and pottery being in exhibitions, seeing my graphic design piece made me feel very imposter syndrome. When I attended the open reception, I wanted to just go home. It was a very overwhelming experience, but Lhea came to see it since the exhibition was near her. That was really nice to have company. The piece displayed was my final branding project where I created a brand and handcrafted a coffee brand called Jakarta Coffee. I’m very proud of the piece but it just felt insignificant in the exhibition next to these huge oil paintings. But I was able to display it at my college’s semi annual student art exhibition too!
I do have something to confess to though…I may or may not be delegating my time & love to another idol in another group which is also why I have been away for a little bit… BUT HEAR ME OUT, yall know each other because you competed on RTK together! You guys even did a stage together 😁😁 Can you guess which group it is? 🥁🥁🥁…..It’s Oneus hehe 😅😅
I saw them on tour in January because they came to my state which no one ever does, so how could I not?? I did impulsively decide to go like two days before the show, but I scored a great seat and a new friend too. I must make another confession… Oneus was the reason I watched RTK because I loved their debut song Valkyrie BUT AGAIN HEAR ME OUT post RTK I became a Deobi instead so this full circle moment makes so much sense. I think you Heroine stage was destiny and was predicting the future hahah. My brain cannot comprehend the Heroine stage the same now that you both are my ult groups. But yes my heart is now home for The Boyz & Oneus 😌
Side thought, I know yall do be browsing on Twitter. This is not to say you guys stalk us or see all our tweets/accounts but I know you do see some. I always wondering if you guys ever like see the shift from “wow this fans was a die hard Deobi and now they also like ___ group/idol too”. I sometimes giggle about what you guys do see on the timeline. If you have been seeing the increase in tweets about Seoho/Oneus, no you don’t…close your eyes. 😇 And if you see my fancalls NO YOU DON’T IDK WHO ONEUS IS 😇😇
Moral of the story: I still love you and The Boyz, yall are still my day one, just you have to share now haha
But that brings me to my April. I may or may not have travelled to Vegas during my Finals week…for Oneus… Bu miracle my friend won a fully paid giveaway and I was lucky to be her plus one and Oneus just happened to be one of the lineups. The festival is called We Bridge and wow it was an experience. I feel like We Bridge is what KCON is like. So much to do at the convention on top of the concert with not one but multiple artists. Maybe I need to invest in festivals more. It’s really a bang for your buck. I’ve also never been to Vegas before so that was cool. The strip is so long like my feet hurt everyday. I also met Yuri Park??? Anyways here’s my Vegas trip photo diary:
Let’s see what month are we at? Ah May & some of June! May, I graduated college…SIKE my college hates me and messed of my courses so now I’m stuck an extra semester. My college really be testing my patience and motivation to actually graduate, so many things just not aligning to get me to graduate, but we are powering through and trying to graduate in December. In order to graduate I need to complete an internship related to my major which you wanna something crazy dumb. Graphic Design is my major, but tell me why almost all design internships are unpaid?? Like no offense, I think it’s time to ditch unpaid internships and free labor. I’m sorry but people need to make money to live and “the experience” is not going to do for most of us. Fortunately since I’m doing the internship in the summer, it allows to time to slot the rest of my week to my part time job to still have income. But because of that I’m work more hours than a full time worker, 6 out of the 7 days of a week and sometimes I’ll work up to 10 days in a row with no break. I’m not complaining because I did this to myself and I should be grateful to have a job & income at all, but damn I’m so tired everyday. I had so many things I wanted to do during the summer in terms of creative practice and personal projects, but I come home after my 9-10 hrs shifts and knock out. And on my half days when I get off at 5 pm, I’m still so exhausted that I just lay in bed LOL. I basically have three jobs, because I also run a small business out of my house so that takes up most of time outside of my part time & internship. Truly kudos for those working multiple jobs and have a family to support or go to school, like damn this lifestyle is humbling and tiring.
My internship, minus it being unpaid, it really cool and I enjoy it alot. I love the company, the office, and my coworkers. I intern at a design & marketing agency that works with larger companies for their promotional tools (like ads, social media, printed goods, etc). My job in the creative team is to just assist on set for commercials and create organic calendars for our clients. Like right now I just finished the June & July social posts for my local Honda dealership. I also do lots of research for our current clients and clients we want such as their competitors, analyzing their social media, presenting current trends, and more. The company itself is women owned and the office is pet friendly so there’s always dogs running around, I love it.
In between my work, if any, I try to delegate time to do things that require me to leave the house lol. While that also may require money, I work alot so the least I should do is be able to spend some of my hard earned money. I have been travelling more such as my impromptu trip to STL and Vegas, recently NYC and STL again. I realized I'd much rather spend money on experiences than tangible goods. As much as I love the collecting part of K-pop, I'm now in my concert going phase because I can always buy back albums and photocards but I can't buy back concerts and experiences, plus this also means I get to go see you guys live such as KCON! I've never been the LA nor have I ever done KCON and I'm ready to be overwhelmed. I read the KCON program book and wow theres SO much to do like how does one even decided what they want to do. I wish I could pull an ant man (or is that another super hero?) and multiply myself so I can be at more than one place at a time. I will say though, does IST ever learn??? Yall need to hire a better program coordinator/scheduler because what do you mean you have a fansign at 9:30 pm and have KCON the next day?? I hope you can at least sleep alot on the flight here because I remember you guys doing rehearsals in your airport fits last KCON. That is literally insane to me to have a schedule that tight when you have to be across the globe the next day. I get that it's feasible, but that doesn't mean you should do it.... I hope you can at least find any and every moment to rest and relax because this triple comeback sounds like alot on your plate.
I'm super glad we were able to kind catch up recently via fancalls and embark on a new trend of silly debate worthy questions. I know in the past I have prepared a whole shabang of a show during the calls, but I also didn't want to pressure you into always having to be in a high tension energy because I'm so chaotic lol. I figured I'd dial it down with more of a laid back vibes for this cb's calls like just two friends catching up and talking about neopolitan ice cream 😂 However, that's not to say I'm not going to pull something grand put if my bag...you just won't see it coming 🤭
This letter is definitely getting way too long so enjoy some #Joy'sSky and photo diary:
This series of unfortunate events at work 😞
New found talent is chalkboard art:
Some more yummy #Joy'sSky :
Until next call debate and letter...
Love you to the moon and back,
Joy :)
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