i lied. i'm not gonna be silly. and this is LONG. and bare with me here i wrote this at 1am there's probably a lot of grammar mistakes 😭
heyyyyyy kevin!!! long time no see! and i mean that... it's been (almost) 3 years since i last wrote you
well... a LOT happened in those 3 years, obviously, but let me reintroduce myself since you most likely won't remember me
hi, i'm julia, but just lia is fine! i'm 20, i joined the fandom in the beginning of 2020 and i am also brazilian (you guys still haven't come to brazil smh..)!
honestly, i don't really have an excuse for ghosting you, i'm so sorry. i guess life just happened and i've had less and less energy/time to engage with fandom activities. i'm still a fan, though! i love lip gloss, i'll be sure to stream it a lot when summer comes in brazil and college gives me a break *cries*
speaking of which!!!! can you believe i was still a high schooler when i sent you that last letter? crazyyyy stuff. i remember telling you all about how i watched this documentary that made me be sure about wanting to major in journalism.....
i'm actually a social science major now tadaaaaa
tbh, those two have a lot in common except for ss we don't really focus on exposing whatever we're researching on on major platforms like journalism does. i still think of going back to college in the future after i graduate to study journalism but hey that's a problem for future lia, i'm still a freshman!!! i'm only on my second term lolol let's slow down
also! ya girl got a job yayyy it's a part time job (thank god bc i don't think i could handle working full time AND going to college like damn) at this prep school. i don't do much, tbh, my job itself is pretty easy, my boss is also very chill and i work from home, so it's not too hard. it still gets tiring having to study at night after having attended classes in the morning and working in the afternoon, but i'm scraping by. it also wasn't really my idea to get a job lol my mom kind of forced me since i'm "already" 20 and have never worked before but hey at least i'm getting paid.
ANNNDDD i think i mentioned to you once or twice (and i'm pretty sure i wrote jacob about it too) but i was supposed to have gone to canada in 2021. unfortunately, i couldn't go bc of covid but i managed to do it in 2022!!! this month it marks officially a year since i've been to canada and ohhh i miss it. it was just me and two friends of mine in a foreign country fighting for ourselves. it was VERY but i enjoyed every second. i went to toronto btw (sorry keb.. might visit vancouver in the future) and i even went to mississauga for like an hour ksjsksksjs i feel like i honored jacob on that one! anyway, i might write you a letter only talking about my canadian adventures, who knows...
that's all to say, wow. i feel like i'm actually an adult now like what. idk if you felt that when you turned 20 too but like i feel like 20 has such "big people" energy like i CANNOT say i'm a teenager anymore unfortunately even though omggg i'm literally just a girllll?
idk it's so crazy to me that so much has changes since i last wrote you. this is one of those things that make you realize that even though it might not feel like it, you've evolved, you've grown! i was almost 18 when i last wrote you and now i'm 4 months away from turning 21. it's really really crazy to think that no matter how bad things get, the time will pass anyway.
i feel like i'm a better place mentally, too. i'm not 100% healed or anything (if that's even possible), but i feel like depression doesn't have the same power over me that it did a couple years ago. i'm still fighting my anxiety but hey one day at a time right lsjsksksksks
overall, i'm glad for a lot of things, but one thing that i really want you to know is that i'm really really happy that even after all this time, i can still feel safe writing you and being your fan. i'm so incredibly glad you're still here, and we still have this space to share and talk (even if it's one sided lololol). i may not be as a die-hard fan as i used to, but i still love you so much and you'll always be my comfort idol. you're AMAZING, kevin, i really hope you know that. idk if you'll actually read this, but just writing this makes me feel happy. that's your effect on people.
keep going. you are loved.
p.s.: congrats on seeing yonceeee omggg i hope you enjoyed every second of it!!!
p.s.s.: speaking of concerts, i was looking through the letters i've sent before (i hated every second of it) and in one of them i recommended you a 5sos song and i attended their concert here in august!!! i also saw nct 127 and p1harmonyyy (i can't tell you how happy it makes me to know you&jacob + keeho and mark are friends cause i stan you ALL i'm LIVING for every interaction) guess the both of us are living our best lives when it comes to being a fan!!
with sooooo much love,
neptune aka 🌻 aka lia