hey, babyy!!
first things first, I'm a little bit better today in comparison to yesterday, so yay for that 😆 I'm guessing I'll still be a little woozy in the coming days, especially since the weather has been cruel here, but it's fine~ if I start going off on tangents or have some typos in letters, just pls cut me some slack, okay? lol
(oops, this got long... long story short: love you more than words can say and hope you have a nice day today!! 😽)
anyways, now for what I came here to say: when you first sent that airplane emoji, I wondered if tbz was going somewhere... then we got no word of any trips or schedules, and I thought "nah, maybe he meant something else" but now I'm really thinking... are you filming something abroad? 👀💕 is that why you're missing those two schedules, because filming coincided with those dates? and if so, omg what are you filming?!
in a way I'm finding it funny that I had a dream the other day that you were in a hotel (?) somewhere having a solo schedule and it turns out that might've been a prophetic dream LOL I'm very very VERY curious and excited now!!! and thank you for reassuring us that you're not sick or anything, baby, because I really would've been worried otherwiseㅠㅠ but no reason to worry!!! you're just (hopefully) doing exciting things that I'm crazy curious to hear about 🥺💛
(and if it turns out it's not a filming schedule but something personal instead, totally fine too - just hearing you're not sick is enough! we know you don't like missing tbz schedules, so you must've had your reasons anyway. the important part is just knowing you're okay~)
aside from that, I also wanted to mention the s cawaii! men interview because man, that whole interview was so sweet... I already knew tbz was a group full of love but it never gets old seeing how caring & thoughtful you guys are towards each other. the members always mentioning how you're responsible for cheering them up and pushing them to try harder made me emotional once again because that has been a constant for so longㅠㅠ💛 you really are everyone's happy pill, aren't you?
and a perfeccionist! I wish I could thank juyeon for saying in the interview you don't need to push yourself too hard. as an outsider, it would be presumptuous of me to say I *know* what you're going through, or feeling deep inside - but you're very honest with us, and sometimes I get the impression you're harsher with yourself than you need to be... and if juyeon agrees, then yeah, that might not be just an impression.
to that I say: I wish you could see yourself the way we see you, eric 🥺 I understand that striving for more and always wanting to grow is a good thing - we should all seek to learn, evolve, get better with time, that's how we grow as people!! but at the same time, we shouldn't undervalue our progress, or our qualities. and you have so many qualities, eric!!! you're beautiful inside and out and I'm not even quoting disney here, I'm literally just saying it as it is: you're perfect to us, baby. exactly the way you are, no matter how many flaws you think you have - we love you for who you are, and not who you were supposed to be.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to be in the spotlight all the time. if I already fought (and lost) the self-esteem war in my teens as a normal teen in a city in the middle of nowhere, I can't imagine how much worse it is when fame is involved. and I know you've had to deal with the worst of it, so I understand if things are not as easy as they should be. I really do. but I'll be here every day if need be to remind you that no matter what your worst thoughts say, you're so loved, eric. so loved!!!
and not despite what you think of as your flaws, but with them included. we love you for who you've shown yourself to be to us, and for the work you (have always) put into your career and your art. okay? :) ❤️
I'm not sure if this happens in korean too, but in brazilian portuguese we differentiate "to be" (permanent state) and "to be" (temporary state). so I could say, for instance, that I "am" happy - either right now (eu estou feliz) or as a constant state of being (eu sou feliz). that may not seem like a big difference but to me (both as someone who's into linguistics and as someone who's lost plenty of battles against my inner demons lol) it feels like a very important distinction to make. because we may not be who we want to be today, but that doesn't mean we can't change that tomorrow. and conversely, just because we're not what we envisioned we'd be today, it doesn't mean what we are right now is NOT an improvement or a good place to be. we can - and should! - celebrate our present day selves, especially if the people who love us are happy to see us get here.
and we're more than happy to see you here, baby. to us, you're a gift. I hope you can be kinder to your present self. he's come a loooooong way and deserves a pat in the back, yeah? 💛
all of that to say, have the loveliest tuesday ever and eat something nice for dinner tonight~😽✨ can't wait to hear more from you about your possible mysterious schedules!!!
우리 소중한 아기망고 오늘도 사랑해요 많이 💖⛵️
-날루누나
p.s.: I imagine we can't post scans of the magazine here, so pls imagine I'm posting a pic just to say damn you look GOOD 🔥🔥🔥