[케빈] 🎫 ticket #45 to 🌙 (i miss you)

[gigi]

Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie Binnie

Can you believe it's already been one year since The Boyz in Chile? I can't believe it's been this long already. Sometimes it feels longer, because I really really really miss that moment so much. There's a brazilian word for this feeling of missing someone/something, it's called "saudade". Saudade is more than the "I miss you" sentence. It's the word for the exact feeling.

2022 was a difficult year. I found myself in a lot of situations that I didn't know how to get away from. I had to face my adulthood like no other time before. I also had to face a state of my mental health and understood that I needed my own time to heal. I took a huge step on quitting my job and on starting a postgraduate degree. I had to make time to find myself again as a designer. 

The process of healing isn't easy, but when they announced TBZ coming to Mubank Chile it kinda felt like a sign that I was on a good path. It's no secret how much I love going to concerts and my love for music. So the fact that I could see my favorite group in the same year I thought I was having the worst one of the last decade, it felt like the year could still be saved somehow. There was still room to feel a huge happiness and a lot of other good feelings.

The whole trip was a challenge. The only time I have traveled abroad was in 2019 and I wasn't alone that time. But this time none of my friends could go with me. One of my closest friends actually offered to go with me, but they weren't going to the concert so I told them it would be fine if I went all by myself. My flight only arrived at 3am and I still had to go all through immigration, in a country that speaks a language that the last time I studied was in 2012, I was full of emotions tbh. But it all worked out (except my phone service since the company messed up. They told me it would work just fine, my phone plan is supposed to work around LATAM, but they actually forgot to activate it, even if I made sure TWICE before I traveled that it would work). But shout out to the people at the hotel that indicated where I could buy a new service and shout out to the people around me at the concert that were so so so nice. They all only speak spanish but they were so comprehensive with me and did their best to listen to what I was (trying) to say. One of them told me my spanish is good, I just need to talk slower (well, I talk too fast in portuguese, it's just a habit).

And how to describe the feeling when you guys stepped on the stage? I felt so so so happy. It was beyond happiness honestly. I don't have good pictures or videos because I had just changed my phone and I wasn't used to it yet, but I took a few takes so I could remember later. Because I was scared I would forget everything, sometimes I forget the whole concert (I found out recently it's a common thing to happen, because our brains assimilate it almost as if it was a trauma, even if it was like the best day ever lol). And when I arrived in Brazil I wrote a whole letter about all my experiences. It’s such a funny letter. I didn't read it until some weeks ago when I was talking about it with my friends and I decided it was time to read it. And boy, did I laugh, and cry, and laugh more while reading it. It was like all the feelings came back. And I did remember in detail everything that was written there. I'm not going to share the whole letter because my feelings were LOUD, but I'll give you a spoiler about it: it has a bunch of KEVIN MOON?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? written there. Typical Gigi behavior I guess lol 

I still can't watch the videos properly because I start crying. And I also can't watch the Despacito performance because bOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I think I'll never recover from that. The amount of audios I sent to everyone after that performance. And I remember screaming "I'm about to play" SOOO loud.

I'm the youngest of my closest group of friends and they kept an eye on me even if far away. Whenever I sent a message in the group chat asking for opinions or talking about what was happening, they would reply right away. None of them are deobis but it was amazing to be able to share about my experience with them, they read and listened to everything I had to say. Isn't it the best when we get to share things with the people we love? 

I know the festival didn't happen in ideal conditions and the group wasn't complete, but I promise the LATAM crowd always gives their best at concerts, so pretty pretty please come back as soon as possible. This time with at least one stop in Brazil and a complete concert with all the members. Okay? I was sure it was going to happen this year, but since it didn't, I hope 2024 brings this possibility. 

What I really want to say again is that I will always be thankful that I got to live that experience. Thank you for being part of one of my happiest memories. I'll always treasure these feelings and memories. 

Healing is a tough process, but I had the right people and the best moments to help me in this journey. 

Time, wondrous time. Gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies 🩷

Best window view 🥹

I wasn't completely alone on that trip because I had my grandma's bracelet and my emotional support photocard of yours with me 🩷

So many feelings in this letter. I really miss you!!! I hope you're doing okay and taking good care of yourself. Have the happiest week!!!

Te amo to the moon and back. 

FOREVER a proud member of the moonlight-deobi life,

- Gigi 🌙

[gigi]

also i hope you are not too stressed because of that game BECAUSE I AM… who made that game istg... okay bye now