Dearest Kevin,
This is actually something I wanted to write about for a while now but the inspiration usually runs away T-T
A little different from my usual Moon to Moon recs, I wanted to write to you about 604! Because I actually adore the song so much and it gets me really emotional. This letter might be a bit damp (esp if I cry ifykyk) and heavy if I focus on my city, but I really wanna tell you everything the song makes me think about and feel!
I wasn't really focused for some reason when first giving it a listen, but it grew on me soo so much in the past year. Pretty sure I came back to it every time I was feeling nostalgic for my home country, despite still living in city I was born in.
My main thought is always "Wow... I wish I had a city to call home and love like this."
Not much has changed since I first thought of that; I think it won't until I indeed find myself a new home somewhere, hopefully far away from here. But still, 604 stays in my heart as this idea of how little sentimental me will at some point love a city.
I can't say that I've seen much of the world up until this point in my life, in fact I've seen so very little that it keeps me on the edge to travel and experience more. Even so, I've managed to see places that overwhelmed me with familiarity and comfort from the moment I set my foot there, a feeling I haven't once felt in my hometown... I often wonder if it's because I've lived here for 21 years that I can only see it as grey and dull, or if it's really possible for a city to be this colorless. Time to time a person or two bring in some color to days spent in here; like my friend from the Philippiness who saw beauty in every picture I sent her, or the colleagues I sit in front of our faculty with, as we cry from laughter. Even that just can't seem to last. Even those people curse this city. I often wonder if people who live amongst ancient structures that are more famous than ours feel this same way - is Pantheon just a casual sight to some?
Suffocating is the best way to describe it. People are mad, tense, their fuses are short. To a 'native' even the prettiest of sights, historical monuments and such all appear tainted by the hands that were meant to protect them - so many times a location worth eternal conservation has been destroyed by greed. No warnings could stop me from mourning our history and how it's getting erased, or how our future is being poisoned.
I've been told long ago that allowing any roots to grow here is a mistake and that I would have to cut them down myself sooner rather than later. The thought of having no roots is scary, but it's less intimidating when I see there's cities out there that could love me back. As I said I've only experienced so much for now, but I've been in cities that felt like a breath of fresh air - something that Belgrade can't offer seeing as we see the air we breathe for a third of each year.
Although I've thought of places I'd wish to be, I'm not even 21. I think my very own Vancouver is somewhere out there, waiting for me to discover and fall in love with it. Belgrade will forever be the city I was born in, but I hope to one day find a home for my heart, my very own Vancity. Somewhere where I'll see prettier colors, prettier sunsets and a blue sky. A city to heal me and a city to write songs about.
I think that only then I would be able to accept this feeling of homesickness for this one.
(I'm so sorry for a more depressing letter ToT)
song rec to go with this theme; Vem da greš - Joker Out
I actually really wanna translate this song so you mayhaps understand it better..? so this is a more literal translation, using my fluent Serbian and weak understanding of Slovenian;
Your Moon,
달야 <3