Hi helo!
Here I will pour out my thoughts heheㅋㅋㅋ
After I saw you went to people's wedding, I thought about a lot of things.
At my current age, everyone is married. My family has also asked some questions about boyfie and of course.... marriage too.
But they never asked... Am I okay after those things that happened in my life during 2018-2022?
Uh, I've been receiving once words by random ppl like "Even though you are traumatized, you still have to get married. Getting married is worship."
And I was like "really????? After all that things happened?"
Ups!
Here, I'll tell you the details.
2018. I once dated a guy older than me by 3 years. I was maybe being grooming. Then we ran aground because of a trivial matter. It's weird. HOEK. And He once tried to get back to me but I wouldn't.
2019. I lost my older sister. Shes died of exhaustion. It happened 40 days after she gave birth to her first child...
2020. My life and my mother's life was a bit of a mess, until my mother met a new "dad" with a sweet attitude on the outside rotten on the inside. Ewhhhh.
2021. I lost my mother in a short way. She was diagnosed with bowel cancer. It has been lifted and is ready for recovery. But God says otherwise....
Long story short, both are related to pregnancy and childbirth. My mother was diagnosed with cancer because she was suspected of having miscarried while carrying a child and was not clean in surgery at that time.
So those are the things that scared me and make me didn't even care about marriage...
Until I was okay to live alone like this. Until I missed many male friends I had been close to...
That's because I don't believe I can take them to a serious level. Because I'm afraid....
So here I am, being a kpopers, spending my life being a kpopers while exploring interesting things in the world...
But it's not a lie If sometimes I want to have a boyfie and even want to get married and have children...
But my fear turned out to be greater than my desire... :((((
Honestly! I even wrote "Dating" on this year's wish list. It's a bit silly but it's a motivation lmao
I was born and raised as a person who couldn't Express the affection. It can even be said to be prestige. Everything I buried myself :(
Until the moment I lose it, I will be super sadddd and stressssss... That's a time bomb, right? 😔😔
Do you think all this can be done, kev? Can I recover and meet my soulmate? Orrrrrr Are you my soulmate? 😔😔😔💓
But even though I haven't found it yet, I hope to get happiness from myself and those around me🥹
👒👒👒👒👒
What do you think, kev, about marriage?
Do you even have a playlist that you will play at your wedding? Lol
'cause I have! Its from Local singers in my country. The title sounds like "Oh dear"
And the "You're still the one" too 😁😁😁😁
👒👒👒👒👒👒👒
Because this is 래사's hat (HEAD). In every post, there would be a strange question coming from my head. Let's deobies, moonlights, and you think about the answer! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
THE QUESTION IS WHAT SONG ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY AT THE WEDDING?