Hi, Jaehyun. Hello! How are you? It's been a loooong time since the last time I sent you a letter. I can't remember the last time I wrote a letter for you. It was last year, right? I missed this. And I missed you a lot, too. How's your day going so far? During those months that I was not writing to you I hope you're having the best(est) days of your life.
I honestly don't know what to say. 😅 Even though I haven't been able to do this for a very long time, my fingers and heart still know that familiar feeling — the feeling of being so "used to" doing something that you regularly do, that even if you stop doing it for a long time, your body and heart still remember how doing it feels.
I guess, this is the result of writing to you everyday for the last four years.
Okay! I am trying my best not to be overly dramatic *flashbacks to my old letters*
But hey, I never regret writing those. I poured my heart on those letters. I only had to delete them because I wanted to have a fresh start — I don't know what kind of "fresh start" but I thought I should write good things... I wanted to share with you good stories from my day and I realized how boring and *cough* embarrassing my letters were. Please remember that it was my past 18 year old self writing to you, hehehe lol. But knowing myself, I know if I would start writing to you again everyday I would probably end up writing the same boring, and cringey letters.
Sorry, your deobi here still has the same boring life, I still don't have any exciting story to tell — except that I am no longer a student hahaha. And what I meant by that is... just like when I was still a student whose routine is only going to school and spending time at home, it's still the same until now — excluding the part of going to school, instead I am now going to work five times a week and just spending time at home or I should say just sleeping at home during rest day from work. I just realized how hard adulting life is for the past months that I disappeared here. And I realized too how The Boyz made my life happier and better back then. You guys made my youth so so happy that I wish I could go back in those times. I honestly don't know how my life would have been without The Boyz especially during pandemic years. I was able to survive those times because of The Boyz and the people I met because of The Boyz.
I have so many things that I wanted to share with you, but I don't know where to start lmao.
But honestly, the reason why I came here is because I miss you.
I saw the memory from my facebook story. And if you're wondering what kind of memory it is... it's a video of you that I came across on tiktok. I used to save videos from TikTok or Twitter and post it on my Facebook or Instagram story to show off you or The Boyz to other people.
I watched that video from my memory on facebook and everything started to feel the same way again. I realized you still have this effect on me. My heart felt so warm while watching that video and the background music just made it extra dramatic for me (just kidding) hahahaha.
Seriously, I thought I would never feel it again. That warm feeling that I'd always feel on my system whenever I see you on screen. Even though it's been such a long time, you still made me feel it — the warmth — the feeling of being home.
I hope I am still welcome here, Jae.
Please believe me that I tried my best to make this letter a bit normal and not cringey. 😭 But somehow I feel like this letter still ended up like that. Sorry~ 😅✋🏻
Maybe there are still things that do not change overtime? What do you think?
Anyway, in conclusion, I came here just to say that I miss you a lot.
Jaehyun, I hope you're happy, healthy and safe. Always.
I'll be cheering on you. ❤️
Always remember Kim— *eric sorry for stealing your phrase hehehe*
But I just want to say before this letter ends that I always heart you.
You're still my bias! 🤪
Take care of yourself, Jae.
Goodnight, and rest a lot.
You did well today. And you're always doing amazing, so I wish you'll be proud of yourself too just like how we feel for you.
Thank you for being born and for existing Lee Jaehyun.
See you again—next time? Here on fancafe.
Mahal kita.
— Kim
Music recommendation:
Terrified - Katherine McPhee, Jason Reeves