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OKY LISTEN THSI LETTER WOULD HAVE BEEN UPLOLADED LIKE 3000YRS AGO BUT I HAVE A BAD HABIT OF CLOSING THE APP AND IT'LL SAVE IT FOR A BIT BUT AFTER A WHILE IT'LL AUTOMATICALLY REFRESH AND I SHOULDA LEARNED BY NOW TO FREAKIN SAVE IT AS AS DRAFT SO IMA DO THIS AS IF I AM WRITING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME
only in the south ; also - yelp review from me. sus vibes and stares.
anyways 😔
i miss you
a lot
when you're gone for long time my spidey senses go " ahh kevin's having a hard time." and i pray for you. and i pray for your go to person to constantly think of you and not know why they are and reach out to you. but even if they don't, that your strength would be renewed. maybe not a drastic change like slamming a book close, but as gentle as a page turn( i'm think like an encyclopedia type.) bc the pages ARE turning and your story, heart, love is being increased daily. bc God never stops. i've been reading ephesians these days. it used to be mad confusing bc paul was like " commas? love em. " and they're thrown in there left and right. but, chapter 1 paul is laying down the foundation for the church in ephesus to remember their identity. i always thought "the mystery " it spoke of was something more than what it truly is: God wanting unity in heaven and on earth" which seems so "duh" but then it talks about the fullness of time. which reminded me of timing attack where you have to wait for the perfect moment for it to be effective (aka dance dance revolution, wack a mole) and to want so bad for unity with us, but God had to wait for the right timing. every prophecy to be fulfilled. each persons role to be completed, the prophets to be born endure trials grow in age and then fulfill it, john the baptist being born, and raised, watching over sarah during her pregnancy. even in the waiting, God still faithfully spoke to those on earth to remind us that He's still working. when preist would enter the holy place on behalf of the people to bring their sacrifice to God. idk it feels so sweet to me; He never gave up. for the grand mystery to be unity? it's like the cheesy encrypted messages in kids movie where the treasure hidden deep in the temple is something symbolic like love. ngl i used to🙄🙄 at this kinda bc im like "they went through all that, almost died like 3 times and lost their fav plushie for this?????" but it wasn't us, it was God pursuing us so that unity could be restored. so that theire would no longer be a God behind multiple veils. (" HE ENDURED BLISTERING WINDS SCORCHING DESERTS CLIMBED TO THE HIGHEST TOWER - prince charming/ fairy godmother in shrek.)
which aligned with His character dating all the way back to the garden with adam, eve, and all of creation. or when they called abraham God's bestie bc he communed with God daily. that is God's heart. so it makes sense why patience is a fruit of the spirit. bc God embodied that for CENTURIES for the fullness of time so that we can return to a place of unity and be a repient of grace. 🧍🏾♀️ yeah that got lengthy.
anyways
okay sooooo my roommate got married and it was so beautiful. ugh. here are pics
it was so beautiful. there was a portion of the wedding where moments in which God was growing in them a love meant for each other. Like when we were living together she applied for a position that had "international" in the name bc God kept bringing that word to mind in different forms. so she applies, but she doesn't get the position. i remember we were both mourning what could have been because we felt so confident in her hearing from God but also the timing. but!!!! fast forward a year later and her now husband (she was not aware of his existence at this point in time) runs a non profit with that same word in it. which seems like a "okay that could be easily explained. BUT! A friend was called to go on a mission trip to a place in africa with a nonprofit ( their mission is to provide medical supplies to those who ar disabled and have special needs in which they wouldn't receive them bc of their socioeconomic status) and my roommate sponsered her the remainder of the money in order for her to go (granted she didn't know the name of the company just that her friend was fundraising but needed to bridge the gap in order to go) fast forward to the trip and the friend is talking to my roommate's now husband. expressing her graittude for her friend's generosity bc this missio trip changed her life. homeboy goes "do you by chance have a picture of her?"and she goes yeah! shows her the pic and he smiles from ear to ear and says "i'd like to meet her" he lives in a neighborhing state to georgia so they never would have crossed paths
( okay so two weeks prior my roommates friend texted her friend and was like "i think i need to go on the mission trip you were talking about in your podcast. " and her friend was like ? sis, think about it. pray about it and think about it again bc you have to fundraise xxxx amount in two weeks.) husband and roommie start chatting the rest is their love story.
fast forward to husband and my roommate were at a coffee shop and instead of calling your name they give you a card from the deck. the number she got was the six of diamonds. Fast forward to the talk of rings for marriage . she asked him "do you already have a ring " and he said "I do!" and he bought this ring, probably like five years before because he felt like God told him to buy that specific ring and pray over his future wife. and she said " I wanna see the ring by myself cause I don't want to react because you're there" the ring that perfectly and it also had six diamonds in it. so moments like that where God wove their story individually until they were bound together. Now listen. did i cry? absolutely. i felt like yh ever december. but also i thought how romantic God is 🥹. my story may not be like that. it doesn't mean i'm less of loved or a lesser daughter of God. that's THEIR story. crafted and completed for them.
when my roommate was on a mission trip before she met him, she was involved with the youth in South America, and she was scheduled to teach the younger generation around middle school high school on the topic which I cannot remember, but she had lost her voice and every single day she lost her voice and so she was just like really concerned they said OK what are we gonna do and she just kept praying and they asked her if she wanted to have someone else do it and she said no i'm gonna get my voice back. they didn't have a mic and the room was PACKED. Right before she stood up she didn't have a voice, but the minute she began to teach she got her voice back. fast forward to the trip with her husband in africa, she preached with no mic to an entire village. she was nervous of course, but she was prepared. a story of God's faithfulness to her in south america made her confident. so yeah i cried a lot at the wedding. it's also the first person i know getting married where I'm close with them.
lastly, I didn't make it on here in time to wish your mom happy Mother's Day. I had a special flower pic set aside that I took to post in a letter for you to show them and things happen and I wasn't able to do it ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
but nonetheless if you could show them this picture, please. as well as me saying
"Hiiii! 어문이 <33333. I wanted to wish you a happy mother's day and thank you for the love that you give to those around you. It is unique and much needed. The sun shines a little brighter in everyone's world around you because of it. I pray you expirence joy, love and when days like today come around that are a milestone of another yer as a mother, you feel a deep rooted joy and pride for your growth as a woman and as a mother. love you. please pretend you read this on mother's day. i'm so sorry i'm late. the love is still the same tho 🫶🏾"
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OKAY AISLAOZBZBSHWUQI WHEN I TELL I SWITCHED WORK DAYS BC TIX WENT ON SALE TODAY!!!! YA GIRL GOT EMMMMMM!!!
I WENT TO A CAFÉ WITH MY IPAD AND LAPTOP AND WORE MY THE BOYZ LETTERMAN, WITH MY THE BOYZ SCRUNNCHY AND MY THE BOYZ MEMBER RING WITH THE DATE OF MY OFFICIAL DEOBI ANNIVERSARY ' 12.6.19 ' l AND I WAS LIKE " OKAY JESUS IT'S YOU AND ME
(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧" now, atl doesn't have pit which sucks, but i'm telling myself that maybe the decision was made with the boyz health at the main concern. even if that isn't the reason ima tell myself that.
but :3 hehe reunionnnnn. it's so funny bc i've seen you perform right, but you havent really seen anything that wasnt in the video frame during fancalls of me. for all you know i could have octopus tentacles for legs.
i feel like when i see some online deobi irl imma be like " wow, ur in real time motion with me!" i wonder if the boyz think that way like " ahhhh its' nice to see you not through a phone lense" but yeap!! i aimed to have seats on your side off the stage and got them!!! plot twist: the formation has changed and youre on the opposite side. can't wait to see what makeup look im going to do but at the same time i'm like " ill probably ball my eyes out so maybe i shouldn't even wear any " but to think I have that option because we fought so hard to make it to this point makes me so happy. you didn't give up through all the pushback externally and the constant warfare internally. and i took it sec by sec and now these days i feel like a human being with occasional sadness rather than a humanoid shape of sadness.
I don't know how k-더비 do this so frequently and not lose it every single time. liek???????
okay bye kevinnnn♥️
xoxo
bukky
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