Goooood morning~
Hi Kev! Just dropping by since I missed being here hehe. How are you? It's been a long time since I had written a letter for you hence I missed you. I hope everything is okay. Virtual hugs w/ consent!! 👩❤️👨
I did a little back track of my letters here and I wish I was still active as I was. My daily 2:23 letters are insane 🤣 but know that we're here always. Some days could be dry at times but know that you're doing good! Be human and rest if needed. That was my realization recently tbh. Idk if you remember but 2 yrs ago, around Oct 2021, I wrote a letter here about my interview in my dream company.
Remember that one PM you had in Un*verse?
It motivated me a loooot. Now, it's been 2 yrs and 6 months since I've been with them. It was a roller coaster ride. There are tons of days I found myself not wanting to go back to work. Despite of that feeling, I still come by and do what needs to be done. For the past 2yrs, I never want to be an incovenient to the people around me reason why despite the breakdowns, crying moments and stressful offs, I still come back. But recently was just so hard. This happened after K-WAVE in Manila last May 11. It was my rest day so I had no problem attending the event. It was all fun not until tomorrow came. I work in night shift since we're under a US based company. That was Sunday, I was trying to make myself fall asleep since I have to go to work at 10 PM KST. Idk why but it was so hard to fall asleep that day. I can't get the right position to make myself comfortable. Few hrs after, I just found myself crying. Literally crying like a baby. It sucks when you're a people pleaser but I took courage to tell my boss I can't make it that night. Good thing he allowed me to take my rest for the mean time. Weekdays came and same thing happened. I did not go to work in Monday and Tuesday. All I did was to cry. I thought I was being dramatic until I realized that the last time I had took my leave was last year. I never took absences even if I'm tired physically and mentally. Maybe that was the reason why all of a sudden, I just can't function at all. I did not allow myself to take breaks even if my mind and body tells me to. Right now, I had made my decision to resign. Next week will be my last days of work. Funny 'cause that has been what I'm wanting to do since then. I was even happy when they approved my resignation 'cause I thought "Finally, I'm free." though right now, I realized that few yrs ago, I was just manifesting to be there in the company I've been dreaming of and now, time has come and I have to make myself grow. I was too comfortable with what I'm doing that I realized that everyone around me is growing on their field while I'm stuck here. It was not an easy decision but sometimes I feel that making myself too comfortable might lock me in those bigger oppurtunities.
Be human. Take a rest if needed. I hope we can let our emotion flow whenever it needs to be. Until people realize that being sad and unmotivated at times do not symbolize weakness, maybe then we can be human.
You're doing fine Kev. Let's heal with all these unwanted feelings together 💝
-Selenophile 🌙