TV Channel 3 Fri Jul 04 00:25:04 2003
captiongnipo snsored byand cbs ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing
"late show" theme )
>> dave: How are you? Thank you. Thank you very much. ( Cheers and applause ) thank so you much, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the "late show." My name is dave letterman. And you can probably tell I'm kind of excited, because today is the day that cbs, the network you're watching right now, announced all their new fall television programs, and we couldn't be more excited. They got a brand-new half-hour siattun iocomedy. It's all about a guy working for the "new york times." It's called "making it up." "Making it u" ( laughter and applause ) ( musical flourish ) now, listen to this: Last week cbs ran a tv movie all about "i love lucy," the behind-the- scenes story of "i love lucy." Then nbc, I think, a couple of weeks later, just two or three nights, ran a behind-the-scenes movie about "three's company." And now cbs has another tv movie. It's called "becker: Behind the canned laughter." ( Laughter and applause ) what's going on, i say? Well, it's prom season. How many of you folks are here on your prom tonight? ( Laughter ) I love... ( Laughter ) I love this time of year, prom season. I remember my prom, renting a tux, renting a limo, renting a date. It was a wonderful. ( Laughter and applause ) here's good news from iraq, ladies and gentlemen: U.S. Forces have captured another bioterror lab on wheels. ( Applause ) right. But then later, it just turned out to be a sidewalk falafel cart. So there's nothing they can do. ( Laughter and applause ) you folks excited about the new "matrix" movie? Are you excited about that? ( Cheers and applause ) I'm going to follow that. I've been to a screening. I've seen the movie, and i don't want to ruin it for you folks, but in the new "matrix" movie, neo has been chosen as the number one by morpheus, and he is sent to the last outpost to look for the keymaker. ( Laughter and applause ) it's like one of those "new york times" made-up stories. You know what I mean? Very confusing. ( Applause ) it's called "matrix reloaded," and it's back with all your favorite machines. There's locke, there's morpheus, there's al gore. ( Laughter and applause ) aw, come on. I took my mom to see the screening of the "matrix reloaded" movie. Halfway through the movie, she turns to me and she says, "david, where's yoda?" ( Laughter and applause ) that's mom. Let's see if he's over there. Here he is, paul shaffer, ladies and gentlemen! ( Applause ) ( playing "i love lucy" theme ) paul shaffer and your cbs... Your cbs orchestra, right over there, everybody. ( Applause ) let me tell you who's on the program. It's wednesday. We were talking to the audience about this earlier, and wednesday means, of course, that it's hump night. ( Laughter ) I would love it if that was reflected in the program somehow tonight. On the show, from tv's blockbuster runaway hit "will and grace," sean hayes is joining us. ( Cheers and applause ) sean hayes. The executive chef of le bernadin, right here in new york city, chef eric ripert is joining us. ( Applause ) eric ripert, the executive chef at le bernadin. And a wonderful musical talent, avril lavigne, is joining us. ( Cheers and applause ) you see that?
>> Paul: Nicely done.
>> Dave: Thank you very much. ( Laughter ) you remember when they had the old $20 bills, the regular $20 billthat just had the $20 bill mark on them? And everybody thought, "well, that's just fine." And then they changed it about ten years ago, and put the giant "20."
>> Paul: Oh, yeah, yeah.
>> Dave: And i'm still not used to that. Well, apparently now there is a newer $20 bill, because the intermediate $20 bill was too ea tsyo counterfeit.
>> Paul: I see.
>> Dave: Were you aware of that?
>> Paul: No, but it makes sense, though.
>> Dave: No, i had no idea. So now they have gone, and they've had to reprint a brand- new $20 bill, and they're not in circulation in this part of the... I don't any new york city yet, but i have one here, and i'm going to show you. Here, now, take a look at it.
>> Paul: Let's see this.
>> Dave: Now, see, it looks... When i look at it, it looks pretty much just like the old 20, not even... See, it's got the big "20" on the back.
>> Paul: Right.
>> Dave: But here, you know what's different about this one?
>> Paul: What?
>> Dave: Well, there's a little... See the red little stripe there?
>> Paul: I do see that.
>> Dave: Okay, you just tear that open. ( Laughter )
>> paul: You tear it open?
>> Dave: Yes. That's right, you tear it open.
>> Paul: Yeah.
>> Dave: And inside, do you know what you get, paul?
>> Paul: Inside the new 20? No, what...
>> Dave: That's right. You get this moist towelette.
>> Paul: Oh! Oh, that's sweet. ( Applause )
>> dave: Refreshing.
>> Paul: Refreshing, yeah.
>> Dave: It would be virtually impossible to counterfeit this.
>> Paul: I can see that, yeah.
>> Dave: That's very nice.
>> Paul: Is it lemony fresh?
>> Dave: It has a citron smell to it, yes. Very nice. Oh, we're talking about this earlier, the "matrix reloaded," and I think it opens on thursday, and they're running the commercials for it. Have you seen the commercials?
>> Paul: I haven't seen the commercial yet.
>>Ave: Oh, man, is this... Everybody... Although it's not even out yet, everybody loves it aladrey. It's one of those things, because it's got good buzz, word of mouththn the street. Everybody is talking about the at"mrix reloaded." Here's a commercial for the film. Take a look, watch this.