3월 6일 토픽입니다~~^^(Go Easy on Yourself)

[Christine(연희)]

Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.

The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.

This idea does seem at odds with the advice dispensed by many doctors and self-help books, which suggest that willpower and self-discipline are the keys to better health. But Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field, says self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence or lower standards.

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent,” said Dr. Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin. “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”

Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight — many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.

“Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation,” Dr. Neff said. “The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.”

Dr. Neff, whose book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” is being published next month by William Morrow, has developed a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that ups and downs are simply part of life.

A positive response to the statement “I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies,” for example, suggests lack of self-compassion. “When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people” suggests the opposite.

For those low on the scale, Dr. Neff suggests a set of exercises — like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.

Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”

If this all sounds a bit too warm and fuzzy, like the Al Franken character Stuart Smalley (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”), there is science to back it up. A 2007 study by researchers at Wake Forest University suggested that even a minor self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits. As part of the study, 84 female college students were asked to take part in what they thought was a food-tasting experiment. At the beginning of the study, the women were asked to eat doughnuts.

One group, however, was given a lesson in self-compassion with the food. “I hope you won’t be hard on yourself,” the instructor said. “Everyone in the study eats this stuff, so I don’t think there’s any reason to feel real bad about it.”

Later the women were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls. The researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt feelings about forbidden foods ate less after hearing the instructor’s reassurance. Those not given that message ate more.

The hypothesis is that the women who felt bad about the doughnuts ended up engaging in “emotional” eating. The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the sweets didn’t overeat.

“Self-compassion is the missing ingredient in every diet and weight-loss plan,” said Jean Fain, a psychotherapist and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School who wrote the new book “The Self-Compassion Diet” (Sounds True publishing). “Most plans revolve around self-discipline, deprivation and neglect.”

Dr. Neff says that the field is still new and that she is just starting a controlled study to determine whether teaching self-compassion actually leads to lower stress, depression and anxiety and more happiness and life satisfaction.

“The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” she said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

Q1. Do you agree or don't agree about this article?

Q2. Are you mostly a generous person or a strict person to yourself?

Q3. What is your personal mission statement (motto)?

Q4. What kinds of person do you want to resemble?

Q5. Besides self-compassion what makes our life better?

Go Easy on Yourself.hwp

 

[Christine(연희)]

토픽이 올라오길 기다리다 올립니다~~
여러분, 토픽 업로드는 수요일까지~~ 잊지말아주셔요~~^^
더불어 장문의 토픽을 택한 점 양해바랍니다~~;;
그럼, 다들 일요일에 뵐 수 있길 바라며~~^^*

[Vuitton(김소윤)]

땡큐 온닝~~^^역시 언닌 숨은 진정한 운영진이에여~~항상 고맙습니다^^

[Christine(연희)]

과찬이십니다~~ㅎㅎㅎ 일욜날 봐~~^^

[violet(이보라)]

와우 크리스틴언니,,질문이 면접용 질문처럼 아주 좋아요^^저 준비하도록 노력 해볼께요 과연 ㅋㅋ

[Christine(연희)]

면접용 질문? 보라는 센스있게 잘 대답할듯~~ㅎ

[Nick(이이슬이)]

어이쿠 누님 감사합니다! 역시 ㅎㅎ 말안해도 알지요?

[Christine(연희)]

아냐아냐 난 너한테 표현받고 싶어~~ㅋ

[gina(권진화)]

헐쓰 크리스틴 정말 길구나...힘들당..하지만 정말 정말 수고가 많았구나 니 정성을 생각해서 열심히 공부해 가야겠지?ㅋㅋ

[Christine(연희)]

하지만 언닌 순식간에 해석 가능하시잖어용~~ㅋㅋㅋ

[Melisa(박민경)]

글씨체도 이뿌구만~ ^ㅡ^ 언니 근데 진짜 장~~~~~~~~~~~~문이네요 ^^ (어이쿠~)

[Christine(연희)]

미안미안~~장문의 토픽이라구 참석안하기 없기얌~~^^

[Daunte]

토픽 정말 괜찮다,, 고마워 크리스틴.

[Christine(연희)]

토픽 맘에 들었다니 나 역시 땡큐당~~ㅎㅎ

[Clark(배준호)]

누나 짱 !!! ^^/

[Christine(연희)]

음~~짧은 한 마디에 임팩트가 물신~~고마워~~ㅎ

[Sunnie(강지연)]

이번 주 토픽 다 재밌을 것 같아~~ 놀러갈라했는데 일영모가야겠어 ㅋㅋ ^^*

[Christine(연희)]

아, 정말요? 감쏴감쏴~~ 일욜날 꼭 뵈용,언니이~~^^

[Kayla (이효진)]

토픽은 길지만 주제는 되게 참신하고 좋네요 +_+ 언니 수고하셧어요!

[Christine(연희)]

우리 효진이한테 듣는 수고하셨어요 이 한 마디가 왜 이리 좋냐~~^^

[minAh(김민아)]

언니 토픽 공부 꼭~ 해서 갈께용 ^^

[Christine(연희)]

구래구래~~ 화담에서 1시부텀 널 기다리마~~ㅋ 꼭 보장~~^^*

[Clark(배준호)]

누나 넘 어려워요 흥...ㅠㅠ