04.10 🤍💙
Hey Sunshine 🌞🥰
I hope you are well and have been managing to get some decent rest between your busy work schedules. It was lovely to have you drop by bubble yesterday, if only briefly. You must be so tired and busy. I hope you are taking your vitamins and keeping on top of your health. Are you finished dieting yet? I keep hoping you are back to the super tasty foods you like to enjoy. I cannot imagine what it must be like having to have such busy schedules whilst also reducing your energy intake, it must make you quite tired. I hope you are managing well though. You are obviously working super hard 🥺💞
I enjoyed the random and fun tiktok that was posted today, I love incredibly dorky and adorable stuff like that 😆 I am so easily entertained sometimes 😂 and the post you made on weverse.. do you really think you need to be nicer to tomoons? Sometimes I think you are too nice. Be nice by all means, but do have good solid boundaries too. Some 'fans' will take advantage otherwise.
Funny enough, I think your bubble messages triggered a random and unexpected dream about you. So I ended up taking a short (1.5hr) nap this afternoon and you appeared in my dream! I was attending a Oneus concert in London (please RBW🙏) and I was sitting in a booth at the side of the front of stage with Fei. You guys added this new part to your talking ments, like a fun game or wish fulfilment section, that's the only way I could describe it. Each of you would go into the audience and just randomly select a tomoon and do something like take a selca with them, say something supportive like good luck on an exam etc. Then when it came to your turn, instead of finding someone random, one of the stage managers specifically asked for me by name and told me to put my hand up. When I did you gave the biggest smile, grabbed a bunch of yellow flowers from said stage manger, hopped off stage and came over to the booth. I didn't get asked what special activity I wanted, you just handed me the flowers then shockingly everyone gasped as you gave me the biggest hug, whispered thankyou beffie (background was loud so maybe bestie?) Into my ear, gave me a squeeze, pulled away, smiled with the warmest smile and eyes and then went back to the stage. I then heard the stage manager telling everyone I looked shocked and everyone laughed and you just smiled in a warm and cheeky way and sent me a flying kiss while I found myself melting a little and sinking into my seat with overwhelm and slight embarrassment.
I think I miss you 🥲 The subconcious mind often likes to do this to us. Funny though, I am not usually one for hugs, but I often find myself thinking I'd happily give or receive one for you and now my subconcious has agreed with me 😅 It was so sweet I woke up in such a good mood. I wondered if the yellow flowers may represent the fact that I call you my sunshine regularly 🤔 I don't dream often so when I do, I tend to pull it apart for the deeper meaning.
I am glad I had that one really good moment today. My back has really given up on me today and I've been struggling just to get around the house. It will ease up in the next couple of days thankfully. It did mean I wasn't able to do the thing I wanted to with the dogs, so I may do that belatedly when I feel up to it. I have been feeling quite lonely again today. I am just missing having a really deep connection with someone, having someone to cuddle up to, talk about my worries and my goals, you know, have someone to make me feel a bit special? Having friends is great, I certainly have some amazing ones, but I can't see them very often and they all live so far away and I think I miss having a partner.. yet I am still refusing to even try dating while I keep having these random bouts of loneliness and moments of needing outside validation. I really want to get happier with who I am, be the real me, stop being a people pleaser and stop being so scared all the time. I will get there eventually, then I may reconsider opening up this cold, bitter and broken heart to possibilities again 😆 I can imagine that being an idol may be quite lonely at times, even though you are constantly surrounded by people. Maybe you don't feel that way..you get so much energy from the people around you, the perks of being an extrovert perhaps? Alas I guess that is something I will never know, it's not something I expect you could talk about openly.
Heh, you can tell it's been an overthinking day again. Did you at least have a good Sunday despite working? I am looking forward to whatever it is that is coming our way soon, though I am obviously pretty sure it's comeback time. I shall say my goodbyes and I shall wish you a pleasant day ahead, hopefully not too stressful and with some breaks. Eat well my dear and keep up the great work. You're amazing, don't ever forget that 😊 Take care of yourself
All my Love
Emily 🥰🥰🥰