Hi Keonhee! Happy birthday!
I'm writing this letter while watching your birthday live stream. In fact, you might not even read it since we don't use the fancafe anymore. Anyway, writing here is special to me, so I'll do it this way! hehe
Today is the 4th anniversary I've celebrated with you. Today is your birthday and also my ToMoon birthday! 4 years have gone by so fast and so many things have happened, right? I got to meet you in person and make precious memories. I also got to meet new friends that I'll carry with me for life, brazilian friends, worldwide friends. I learned a lot about Korean culture and even learned a little bit of the language (I'm still trying)
My life has changed so much since I became ToMoon and I'm so grateful. I want to say that I'm so grateful that you were born and became my favorite idol. Even though 4 years have passed, I still can't explain in words what this feeling I've cultivated for ONEUS's Lee Keonhee is. It's something I've never felt before and a very strong special feeling inside me.
I feel like we've grown up together, I've become more mature just like you have too. Neither you nor I, we're not the same as we were in 2020, so many things have changed and we've become more adult. In less than a year I'll be 30, and today you're 26, isn't that crazy? I've followed many things in your professional life and rooted for your happiness, I've dedicated many hours of my day to you, I've lost sleep because I wanted to watch your lives, I woke up early because I wanted to vote on music shows. In fact, I still wake up early to vote, that hasn't changed. HAHAHAHAHA
What I mean is that four years is a long time, my son is 8 years old now, you know? I remember that when I met you, Derick still couldn't speak and I remember writing a letter to you telling you when Derick finally managed to say "mommy". I shared so many feelings with you, Keonhee. You were my best friend and my main companion in very difficult times. It's as if we were together every day. Thank you for not letting me feel alone. You took me out of the dark many times and lit up my life. Thank you.
Today, in 2024, I had to end many cycles as ToMoon. I had to close Keonhee Brazil, I had to distance myself from social media, and I can no longer be present in your life like before. At first, I cried a lot. I couldn't accept that I could no longer dedicate myself like before. I always told you that I would be by your side every day, so I felt like I was failing in my promise.
But, Keonhee, today I can understand that we are not the same as we were 4 years ago. At almost 30 years old, adulthood has brought me many responsibilities every day. I no longer have the same amount of free time as before, and my life has ups and downs every day. I needed to understand that I can be with you as much as possible, in my own time and in my own way.
I continue to send you all my love and think of you every day. Keonhee, I miss being with you so much, and being an international fan is even harder because I can't see you in person, so I only have the internet to express my love. But can you feel my love even if I'm not here? I'll believe that you can, I want to believe that I can still be considered a keonrangdan.
Today, on your birthday, I wanted to write this letter, because as I'm here looking at you, I feel a great longing inside my heart. We may have changed over the course of 4 years, but there's one thing that will never change: my love for you. My love for you doesn't change, even if I'm different today, it still exists and remains very strong. So, Keonhee, I want to say that I wish you happiness, that I will continue to be by your side cheering for your achievements, I will support your decisions and wait until the day we can meet again.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life, thank you for being a singer and finding me even though I'm on the other side of the world. Thank you for everything and happy birthday.
I love you forever
With all my love, Evenin 🌼