[“No” is a hard word to say.]
Have you heard the Elton john song “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”?
It’s a nice song, but …well, I disagree.
Sure, saying “sorry” is not easy. But the small, itsy-bitsy, two-letter-word “No” is more difficult to say.
If you think about it, you’ll probably agree.
For clarity, I know that the word “no” is easy to when someone offers you some coffee and you already have some. You might say “ No thanks. I have some.”
But what if someone asks you to come to a party they are having, and you really don’t want to go. It’s not as easy to say “No…but thanks anyway.”
When you have to refuse or decline and you don’t want to hurt someone’s feeling, you wan to say “no.” but you end up saying something else, or even saying, “Yes” because it’s easier to say.
You decline politely by saying…
“ I’d love to, but I don’t have time.”
Or “I wish I could, but I have to meet someone.”
Or “ Is that song, Hae Kyo…oh my gosh…got to run!”
Just saying N-O “no” is tough.
▶ Key words and expression!!s.
- itsy-bitsy: very small; tiny
- for clarity: to make something more clear
- end up doing something: to do a thing or get into a state even though you did not originally intend to
- got to run: to have to leave quickly
▶Dialogue 1.
Drag on (지루하게 계속되다)
Sarah: How was your day, Beck?
Harry: Can’t you tell from the look on my face?
Sarah: Yeah, you don’t look so well. What’s up? Was not your new idea on the school festival accepted?
Harry: No, I didn’t even get around to talking about it. Our class representative kept picking on me, and the meeting just dragged on forever until everyone just left.
▶ Focus
1. pick on someone : ~에게 시비걸다
Why is everybody picking on me? I feel like a victim.
왜 다들 나에게 시비를 걸지? 내가 마치 제물이나 된 것 같아.
2. get around to ~ing : ~을 할 여유가 있다
(to 뒤에는 명사나 동명사형이 오는 것에 주의)
I was so busy that I didn’t get around to making a phone call.
난 너무나 바빠서 전화기 근처에 가볼 수조차 없었다.
▶Dialogue 2.
It was a slip of the tongue.
(그건 말 실수였어.)
Tommy: I’m sorry about what I said at lunch.
Susan: You know, you really hurt my feelings.
Tommy: It was a slip of the tongue.
Susan: Really?
Tommy: Yeah, I take it back.
Susan: You mean it?
▶Focus
1. hurt one’s feelings: 마음을 상하게 하다.
I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I just didn’t have time to see you.
(맘을 상하게 해서 미안해. 널 만날 시간이 없었어.)
2. a slip of the tongue: 말 실수
You know it was only a slip of the tongue. Don’t take it too seriously.
(말실수였다는 것 알잖아. 너무 진지하게 생각하지마.)
3. take ~ back: 취소하다.
I take back what I just said. I didn’t think it over seriously.
말한 것 취소할께요. 진지하게 생각하질 않았습니다.
4. You mean it?: 진심이야?
You mean it? I can’t believe that you’re accepting my proposal!
진심이야? 네가 내 프로포즈를 받아들인다는 것이 안 믿겨져!
▶Discussion questions.
1. When you have to decline…when you want to say “No” to someone, but you are afraid you might hurt that person’s feeling, what do you say?
2. Do you have trouble saying, “No”?
3. When do you have trouble saying, “No”?
4. Talk about a time when you wanted to say “No” but said “Yes” instead.
5. What are some good excuses to use when saying, “No”?
6. How often do you say, “No” to people?
7. Have you ever lied to someone to protect his feelings?
8. How would you feel if someone lied to you to protect your feeling?
9. Is it difficult for you to decline offers for help?
10. What do you think is the most appropriate thing to say when you are declining an offer?