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[Annie] Teen lashing out |
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[애니] 십대의 반항 |
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Dear Annie: My husband and I have a bad situation with our 17-year-old daughter, "Tandy." Twice in the last few months, Tandy has come home drunk after attending parties. My husband and I think the drinking started at the end of her freshman year. Until then, Tandy was a good student. Now she rarely gets above a C.
Tandy has her driver's license, so she can tell me she is going one place and end up at another. After the last episode of drinking, we grounded her and suspended driving privileges for two months, so she is not allowed to leave the house except for school. She had to give up her after-school sport because neither her father nor I can drive her back and forth.
Now that she is homebound, Tandy cries that she is going to lose all her friends and that everyone thinks we're rotten parents because we keep such close tabs on her. I don't believe it. She says she hates me and limits her side of our conversations to monosyllabic responses.
My husband and I don't trust Tandy. She has lied to us more than we could ever have imagined. I know we must stand firm with our punishment, but we are afraid that we could lose Tandy forever. We are seeking family counseling but want to know what else we should be doing. -- Trying To Be a Good Parent
Dear Trying: Family counseling is a good start, and yes, your punishment is fair and you should stick to it. It's hardly unusual for teenagers to lash out against their parents, but that doesn't mean you should cave. Tandy is testing your resolve.
The most important thing is to approach any discipline with love and concern instead of anger and disappointment. Tandy needs to see in your eyes, and hear in your voice, that she is precious to you, and that is why you care so much.
Dear Annie: A patient of mine sent me your column on statin medications and memory loss. Many people who take statins are in an age group in which memory loss is common. Although muscle aches are a known and sometimes serious side effect of statins, these medications are not known to cause dementia, and in fact are being looked at as a possible treatment for it.
As a physician, I see hundreds of people whose high levels of cholesterol make them a target for heart attacks or strokes. Many of these people either refuse to take statin medication or stop taking it because they fear possible side effects. Please get out of the medical business. -- Doc in Connecticut
Dear Doc: Part of the purpose of this column is to educate. The vast majority of those with high cholesterol benefit enormously from statins, and there is no question that they save lives. But when readers ask about credible studies linking statin use to muscle and joint pain and memory loss in a small minority of patients, we feel an obligation to print the information. They can then discuss any concerns with their doctor. |
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