Study Topic for 17th of January

[sydney]

새해에는 우리모두 새로운 만남을 기대하며 많은 이야기를 나누어 보하요!!! 

Romantic intelligence.doc

Romantic intelligence

Have you heard of the term “romantic intelligence”? Of course not! It's a term I just invented this afternoon! It's a phrase I have come up with to define a person's dating skills. A man with a high “romantic intelligence” will do better with women than a man with a low “romantic intelligence”.

For example, a nerd who has never talked to a woman besides his mother will have a very low romantic intelligence score, while a player who has been scoring women since he was 13 will have a very high romantic intelligence.

Just like any kind of intelligence, romantic intelligence needs to be nourished. The nourishment process is very linear. The sooner you pick up your dating skills, the sooner you'll become successful with dating and women.

In the above-mentioned scenarios, the player has an obvious advantage over the nerd. Not because the player is better than the nerd genetically, but because he has been practicing his skills since he was a very young boy.

When the nerd was still playing video games in high school, the player was already talking to girls in the hallway and taking them out for ice-cream after school.

When the nerd was spending all his time on getting the best sword on an online game from the safety of his dorm room in college, the player was experimenting on how to get girls drunk.

Fast forward to today. The nerd is now 25 years old and he FINALLY wants to get a girlfriend. So he starts hitting the clubs and becomes extremely frustrated when women don't even notice him. As for the player, he is actually an ex-player now. After playing women for 7 years, he has finally decided to get involved in a long-term relationship. He's engaged to be married to a woman he loves.

From 15 to 25, The player has over 10 more years of experience than the nerd. So is it really a big surprise that the nerd is not as good as the player when it comes to getting girls?

In my experience as a dating coach, a man usually has to go through 3 stages:

1) The Discovery Stage

2) The Experimentation Stage

3) The Serious Stage  

Trouble will occur if you try to skip to the next stage before you're ready. For example, if you have never dated before, it's a bad idea to marry the first girl who shows interest in you.

You may not agree with me because you're madly in love and you think your first girlfriend is “the one” you want, but reality shows that your first love or high school sweetheart is often NOT the woman you'll stay with for life.  

Trouble will also occur if you get stuck at a certain stage without ever moving on. For example, a LOT of nerds in their 20's and 30's fall for the “seduction” type of programs out there. They seriously buy into the mottos of the pickup guru's such as “never date a woman unless you have slept with her”, “always have more than one girlfriend”, and “never like a woman enough to be exclusive with her.”

In my opinion, these guys are just trying to live out experiences they never experienced back in high school or college.

This is okay - as long as you keep it under control and DO eventually move on. Feel free to date casually for a while or maybe have a few casual one-night stands if you want - but if you want to remain in the “game” for more than a couple of years, then you've got to look at your life seriously. Chances are, you're trying to pick up women in order to mend certain holes in your self-image. (I will probably get flamed by a lot of “pickup-artists” for saying this. But hey…I am here to spread the truth!) 

< Questions >

1. Do you agree with the conclusion of this article (that the sooner you gain the knowledge of dating, the better you will be in picking up the opposite sex)?

2. Which level do you fit in (among three stages in this article)?

What does that mean to you?

3. How much of this so-called "dating intelligence" necessary to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend? Have you had any experiences that low level of this intelligence led to the failure you feel?

4. Do you have any special tactics for alluring the opposite sex? 

5. Point any members that look like players(regardless of his/her gender)? Why so?

6. How long does it normally take to be a girl/boy friend after you meet the person for the first time?

7. Have you ever been falling in one side love? How long have you had the feeling? Why did you stop it?

8. Do you know anyone who never fall in love?

    What the reason of that?

9. If you meet two people in a day and you like both, what would you like to do?

10. How can you notice that man or woman are interested in you?

11. How do you ask him/her out?

12. How do you feel when woman/man aggressively express her/his affection to you? 

Blind Dates

Meeting people can be difficult, and many individuals turn to blind dates as an alternative to aimlessly cruising singles’ clubs or Dating web sites in the hopes of finding someone suitable. Whether you are setting up a friend or preparing for such a date yourself, there are several techniques to help guarantee a successful meeting.

Blind Dates Aren’t Blind

Despite the misnomer, a blind date isn’t truly taken without prior knowledge. Both parties should have at least a vague idea about one another, including basic preferences for food, entertainment, and activities that may be a part of the date. Successful relationships are typically based on mutual interests, and without knowing about those interests, the setup will be no more enjoyable than if a random name were chosen from a phone book.  Finding basic information about another person prior to an arranged date isn’t as difficult as it might seem. A casual conversation can lead to interesting tidbits about careers, favorite movies, hobbies, or unique talents, which can lead to making connections with other people either directly or through a third party. That prior knowledge offers insight into the match and can lead to an enjoyable date.

Setting Up a Friend

Many people play Matchmakers and try to set unattached friends up on blind dates. The key to doing so successfully is to not thrust them together with anyone and everyone, but to find the person that they may actually have a genuine connection with.

 Finding a Date

If you are deliberately looking for someone to set up with a friend, determine if they are interested in your efforts. Blind dating is not universally acceptable, and they may be offended or embarrassed by your intrusion into their relationships. If they are willing, the next step is to ask what qualities they are most interested in: someone with a solid career, a spiritual side, athletic ability, academic prowess? Knowing what basic characteristics they are looking for helps you narrow the field of potential suitors and avoid awkward mismatches.  Depending on your social connections, it is acceptable to ask around to find someone who may spark your friend’s interest. Perhaps your co-worker’s sister is a member of a local reading group, and your friend is interested in meeting someone who likes Shakespeare. Such far-reaching connections may lead to the perfect date.

 Making the Introductions

Once you have found a suitable match, basic introductions must be made. A blind date’s most awkward moments are as the couple discovers how they actually came to meet, but if the involved parties are available, the tension can be eased considerably. Double or group dates are popular venues, and the setup couple does not need to feel uncomfortable with a relative stranger. Alternatively, the couple can be introduced and then left alone after they understand how they came to meet, and they can focus on each other instead of unraveling the trail. 

Preparing for Your Blind Date

If you are the subject of an arranged date, basic preparation is essential. While you may initially know that your date shares one of your interests (the previously mentioned reading group, for example), a brief phone call to the person setting you up or even your actual date can broaden your knowledge. Perhaps that literature-loving individual also enjoys jazz – suggesting that you visit a jazz club or honing your knowledge of jazz musicians may smooth the date. On the other hand, you may learn about passionate dislikes, allergies, or phobias that could influence the course of your date or even whether or not you want to meet with them. A phone call ore-mail can help establish basic personalities between the two of you before actually meeting.

1. What do you think about blind dates? What was your best & worst blind date ever?

2. How old were you when you went on your first date? Where did you go and what did you do?

3. What kind of place do you think is the ideal for a first date? Why do you think so?

4. What kind of clothes do you wear on a blind date?

5. How often do you go on blind dates a year? Do you ever set your friends up on blind dates?

6. What's the best way to break the ice to a blind date?

7. What's the best way to impress a woman or a man on a first date?

8. Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you ever had a crush on someone?

9. What qualities are important to you in a boyfriend or girlfriend? How about husband or wife?

10. Do you think that age difference is important when dating? If so, why?  

[Yuli]

오호 간만에 시드니님의 토픽이군요 ^^ 빠른 업데이트 감사해용~~

[하루살이]

수고 하셨습니다!

[sydney]

ㅎㅎ 율리~ 그럼 나오소

[니콜라스]

수고 했습니다.. 주제가 좋네요!! good!!

[Damien(이명준)]

재밋는거네요 굿!